Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

"I want to marry a man and have a baby - but I don't want to marry a baby."  Frustrated young woman who has given up on men.  

"60 is the new 40.  25 is the new 13."  Sports writer from Philadelphia.

Kay Hymowitz in her new book, "Manning Up:  How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys," points out that too many men, especially in their twenties, are living in a new kind of extended adolescence.  She points out that not long ago the average American man in his 20's had achieved most of the typical stages  of adulthood:  a high school diploma, the beginning of financial independence, marriage and children.  However, today most men in their twenties "hang out in a novel sort of limbo, a hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence."  

Julie Klausner, in her amusing book called, "I Don't Care About Your Band:  What I Learned From Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters and Other Guys I've Dated," points out that young men today are neither boys or men but something in between.  "Guys talk about 'Star Wars' like it's not a movie made for people half their age; a guy's idea of a perfect night is a hang around the PlayStation . . . They are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home."   

Today young men don't know what it means to be a man.  If you ask someone, anyone, what it means to be a man you are going to get a long list of different answers.  What has happened and how does it affect our nation?

People give many reasons ranging from militant feminism, to extreme entitlement, to the economy, to the absence of commitment.  Today, marriage and fatherhood come in many forms or can merely be skipped completely.  Let's take a closer look. 

In 1970, only 16% of Americans ages 25-29 had never been married.  Today, 55% of that age group have never been married.  The average age of a first marriage is now almost 30.  

Helen Smith, in her new book, "Men on Strike," points out that men are disappearing from campus where nearly 60% of undergrads are female; from the workplace where the percentage of men employed has hit an all time low of 70%; and from the family where half of women under 30 are giving birth unmarried.

Have you noticed how Caucasian males are portrayed on television, especially commercials ?  For the past couple of decades, not all the time but many times, the media tends to portray the white male as a "bumbling fool" or an "over-testosteroned freak."  Why do they do that?  Perhaps the better question is why do men let them get away with that.

What we have here is this:  a lack of responsibility.  The problem begins in the home.  Children are not learning how to bear the weight of responsibility.  They are being reared to believe that they are entitled, i.e., they believe they deserve and want things given to them that previous generations had to work for.  

I believe the most critical reason for what is happening in America is the absence of the responsible male.  Many men, for a variety of reasons, have failed to embody a call to courageous manhood. 

Let's start with some devastating statistics when the man is not even in the home.  When the man is no longer in the home, for whatever reason, the role model of a man is gone and confusion and uncertainty is the consequence of what a man is supposed to be.  

43% of US children live without their father (US Department of Census), other statistics reveal a lower number, between 35 - 40%.  

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Department of Health/Census) - 5 times the average.

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census) - 32 times the average.

85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes (Center for Disease Control) - 20 times the average.  

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principals Association Report) - 9 times the average.

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes - 10 times the average.  

One of the most amazing incidents in the animal world I have ever seen might give us pause for critical reflection.  

Some years back, the TV news program, "60 Minutes" presented a story of elephants in Africa.  The problem was rhinoceroses.  Someone was killing them.  The villagers could not figure out who was killing them.  Their horns were not taken and so they ruled out poachers.  Scientists were brought in and it was discovered through night video cameras that it was adolescent male elephants who were terrorizing the country side.  Several solutions were tried until they finally realized that the adolescent elephants had no adult role models.  The bull (male) elephants had previously been killed.  Bull elephants were then imported into the villages and immediately, the young elephants stopped their acting out behavior and things returned to normal.  The young elephants now had a role model of what a bull elephant was supposed to be and their behavior changed.  

 What does a Christian man look like?  What does the Bible tell us about manhood?  What would it look like if men were to answer the call to courageous manhood?  

At Branson Christian Church, we will be starting a Men's Fellowship.  It will begin January 25th, the last Saturday of January, from 9:00 - 10:30 in the morning, in the fellowship hall of the church.  It is open to all men, including adolescents.  There is an answer and I hope that as many men that can come, will come.  In our first session we will explore the video series, "Stepping Up: A Call To Courageous Manhood."  

There is an answer to the question of "Where have all the good men gone?"  We can begin to change it with your help.