Wednesday, December 25, 2013

To Be Or Not To Be

"To be, or not to be, that is the question" is the famous opening phrase in the "Nunnery Scene" of William Shakespeare's play, Hamlet.  But what is Shakespeare talking about?  What does he really mean when he says "To be or not to be?"  It is amazing that so many people do not understand this famous saying.

It is now Christmas and there are people throughout the world who are seriously contemplating this question.  Instead of being happy for celebrating the birth of our Savior, there are those who now question the very purpose of living.  Those who contemplate the loss of loved ones, or severe financial and medical difficulties, or marital and family crises, and many other reasons.  The question takes center stage in their mind.  "To be or not to be?"  

Shakespeare's Prince Hamlet is contemplating suicide.  He wants the pain to stop.  And so do some people this Christmas season.  But what is the pain?  What is it that hurts so much that suicide seems the only way out?  

There are many reasons for suicide.  Some are well planned and make sense to the person contemplating it.  For example, the elderly have the highest suicide rate, much higher than young people.  When an elderly man who has Alzheimer's Disease and feels that he is going to be a tremendous financial and emotional burden to his wife and family, he spends a great deal of time thinking about the question, "To be, or not to be."  It is not an impulsive situation.  He believes he knows exactly what he is doing.  We just need to remember Dr. Jack Kevorkian in his work as a euthanasia activist to assist people with suicide to understand his reasoning.

We can understand too well the number of young people who are impulsive and attempt suicide with little thought about it.  The boy whose girl friend has just "dumped" him.  The teenage girl who was so humiliated with seeing the naked picture of herself she gave to her boy friend plastered all over Facebook, and many more.  We don't condone or approve of any of this but we can understand it.  We have to stop the pain.  

As such, I would like to address men in this column.  The key word is "relationship."  In a church setting, there are always more women than men in church.  More women than men in the choir.  More women going to college than men.  More women than men are ordained in main line churches.  When I was in graduate school as a young man studying psychology, the majority of the class was men.  Today, almost eighty percent of psychologists are now women, and other professional fields which were once dominated by men are now being taken over by women.  If you are a woman this may be a good thing, but the point is this:  "Where are the men?"  This, we don't understand.  What's happening to men?  

In American culture, masculine roles continue to evolve.  With 35% of children in America being reared without a father in the home, there is going to be financial, social and emotional consequences; however, the ramifications of this transformation is for another column.  My main concern in this column is "relationships" and the lack thereof.  In general, girls have traditionally been reared to be home makers, e.g., the toys they play with are different from boys as seen by dolls, stoves, etc.  Boys toys range from action hero type toys, to sports, to cars, to guns, etc.  (These stereotypes may be changing in todays current world for better or for worse.)  The main argument I wish to focus on is this:  the average male has been culturally reared to equate feelings with weakness, whether consciously or unconsciously.  To show feelings implies vulnerability.  In other words, men tend to keep their most vulnerable feelings to themselves.  This is an American tragedy. 

Here are some current statistics that may shed light on this discussion.  In his latest book, "Lonely at the Top," Dr. Thomas Joiner points out that approximately 30,000 people commit suicide every year in America and 80% of them are men.  Males kill themselves 4 times more than females.  The suicide rate among the age group of 20-24 is more than 5 times higher for males than females.  In the older age groups suicide is predominantly a "male problem."  After retirement for men the "suicide rate skyrockets for men, but not for women. "  Check these stats out:  Between 65-74, males commit suicide more than 6 times higher than females.  Between the ages of 75-84, the suicide rate is 7 times higher, and for those over 85, it is nearly 18 times higher for men than women.  

As I mentioned in the beginning.  People want the pain to stop.  Along side pain is the feeling of hopelessness.  For many men its a feeling of, "who really cares?"  The Golden Gate Bridge has notoriously been famous for suicide jumps.  Here is one example.  A man left a note as he walked across the bridge.  It said, "If one person smiles at me, I won't kill myself."  The note was found after he had jumped to his death.  Although women commit suicide also, the key difference, I believe, is that women know how to live in relationships and can share their pain with friends.  This is crucial.  

I believe the antidote to suicide for men is found in relationships.  But that means for men to allow themselves to be vulnerable, to allow others to really know who they are, not what they try to project.  Remove the mask.  Who are you?  So many men feel that if people really knew who they were they would be rejected.  That is incorrect.  The saddest part is that people can go to church for 30 years and not really know the people they serve on committees with, much less the person in the next pew.

The reason that the "Promises Keepers" was so successful years ago was because it allowed and encouraged men to enter into relationships with other men with the hope that it would generalize to meaningful relationships with everyone.  

The early church began with a group of men.  Twelve to be exact who would meet together, share joys and concerns together, worship together, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide them into changing the entire world.  They learned to "get outside of themselves" and through prayer and fellowship with each other and the Lord, they found meaning and purpose in their own lives.  

I believe this is a blue print for how we are to live our lives today. I believe that everyone who attends church should try to become involved in a small group where you can make friends, learn the Bible and further the Great Commission.  At Branson Christian Church, I encourage you to attend any one of our four Bible study groups which is open to anyone. The latest one will be "The Foundations of the Bible" beginning January 8th.  (See complete description on this Blog: 10-28-13).  Also, a new Men's Ministry begins on January 25th from 9:00 to 10:30 at the church.  This will be a great group to attend to make real relationships and further your life journey.    

The Eagles hit song, "Desperado," another great song that once again, is amazingly misinterpreted, (majority of folks believe it is about a young man who rejects love - absolutely wrong - it is about a young man who longs for love.)  It's closing lines gives a great warning to men, " . . .  your prison is walking through this world all alone . . . you better let somebody love you, you better let somebody love you, you better let somebody love you, before it's too late."    

Saturday, December 14, 2013

The Right Gift

Recently, a "Husband Shopping Center" opened in Dallas, Texas, where women could choose a husband among many men.  It was laid out with five floors with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.  There were two rules, however.  The first rule was that once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor.  The second rule was that if you chose to go up a floor, you could not go back except to leave and never to return.  

A couple of girlfriends went there to find men.  On the first floor there was a door which had a sign on it saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."  The women said, "Well, that's better than not having jobs or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"  So up they went to the second floor and the sign on the door read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good-looking."  "Hmmm," they said.  "But I wonder what's further up?"  So they went up to the third floor.  The sign on the door said, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good-looking, love kids and help with the housework."  "Wow!"  they said, "Very tempting but there's something better further up."  They went up to the fourth floor and the sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good-looking, love kids, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."  "Oh my!" the women said, "But think what must be on the next floor!"  So they went to the fifth floor.  When they got there they read the sign on the door, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please."

This is just a make believe story but perhaps it does strike a nerve with some folks.  This is the Christmas season and soon we will all be out shopping for gifts.  Knowing what gifts to get for the kids is generally not too difficult.  Knowing what gifts to get for the adults can be difficult.  "What will please dad?"  What will please grandma?"  We typically hate to get a gift which the other person doesn't like or want.  All you have to do is go to WalMart's the day after Christmas and look at the "Returns" line to know that not everyone was pleased with their gift.

So, we generally do a little research, "Ummm.  What would dad want?  What does grandma really need?  What will please her?"  Sometimes a gift does not have to be a material thing.  The gift of love is clearly a wonderful thing to give anyone.  Clearly, God's gift to us is His Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ.  When Jesus was baptized, the heavens opened up and God said, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."

Consider the tradition in which gifts were given in the first place.  The wise men came to the baby Jesus and gave Him gifts of "gold, frankincense, and myrrh."  God gave us the gift of His Son.  The wise men gave Jesus gifts.  What gift does Jesus give to us?  Isaiah 9:6 tells us that Jesus is the Prince of Peace.  John 14:27 tells us that Jesus gives to us the "Gift of Peace."  In a world racked by wars, violence, and fear, the gift we receive by receiving Christ as our Savior is this, "Peace I leave with you.  My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  





Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Three-Fold Ministry of Jesu Christ

The Gospel of Mark consists of 16 chapters.  The last 6 chapters make up one week in the life of Jesus which we call Holy Week or Passion Week.  The first 10 chapters deal with His earthly ministry.  As you go through each chapter I want you to place a mark on whether Jesus was Preaching, Healing, or Deliverance (casting out demons and evil spirits).  I am hoping this will be a revelation for you.

                           THE GOSPEL OF MARK


   (Chapters)          1          2          3          4          5             
                   
Preaching             __        __        __        __        __ 

Healing                __        __         __       __        __

Deliverance         __        __         __       __        __




   (Chapters)          6          7          8         9          10          

Preaching             __        __        __       __          __ 

Healing                __         __       __       __          __

Deliverance         __         __        __       __         __

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

How Do We Pray?

How do we pray?  Why do we pray?  Who do we pray to?  The Bible suggests we pray to the Father, in the name of Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

However, there is nothing to contraindicate praying to Jesus or even talking with the Lord throughout the day or evening.  The best way to begin is to understand what God desires from us.  The Bible teaches us that God is not primarily interested in your prayer requests.  God is not primarily interested in your prayers for others.  God is primarily interested in you.  He wants to develop a relationship with you, one on one, based on love.  Out of this relationship will then flow prayer requests and prayers for others.  However, the relationship must come first.  That requires making the decision to provide time to spend with the Lord.  

We ask our prayers in the name of Jesus because He is our intercessor.  Remember the story of Peter and John going to the temple in the third chapter of Acts and they meet a man who has been lame since birth.  "Then Peter said, 'Silver and gold I do not have, but what I have I give to you:  In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.' "  The lame man was healed and the people were astonished and wondered how this could happen.  Peter told them it was not by his might or will but entirely in the name of Jesus Christ.

Listen to these well known verses from Scripture:  John 14:6:  "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me.' "  Also, I Timothy 2:5:  "For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus."

What God is basically saying is, "If you have a request for Me, the way to have it answered is on the basis of what My Son has done." Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice for our sins.  He redeemed us from the slavery of sin and the price was His very blood.  Therefore, when we come before the Creator of the universe, our God and Father, we do so not based on our personal achievements.  We come before God solely based on what Jesus has done on our behalf.  We might say something like this, "Dear God, I come before You and pray not because of my unworthiness, but through  what Your Son has done for me.  Through His blood sacrifice I am praying in His name.  The name of Jesus Christ.  Amen."



  

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Who's That Girl In My Bed?

That's the question I asked my mom when I came home for the Xmas and New Year holidays from college.  "Oh," she said, "I forgot to tell you. We have taken in a foster child.  Her name is Charlene.  She's eight years old.  You'll have to sleep in your brother's room."

My parents wanted Charlene to have a great Christmas as she apparently had a rough time in life.  On Christmas morning my  younger brother and I watched Charlene open her presents as quickly as we gave them to her.  What seemed like a very long time and what seemed like 20 presents, when she finally opened the last one, she said, "Is that all there is?"  My brother and I looked at each other and we all knew we've got a problem!"

Charlene believed we all owed her something.  Today, we would say she felt entitled and would fit in very well with todays culture. When you feel entitled, you cannot feel thankful because if you believe people owe you something there's nothing to be thankful for. 

Thursday is Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving reminds us to be, how do you put it? oh yes, "thankful."  But are we really thankful?  According to social psychology research, the secret to being content is "to be thankful for what we have."

The Bible teaches us that to be thankful is basically to be grateful and gratitude is one of the highest virtues of the true believer and the foundation from which blessings flow.  The opposite of thankful would be ingratitude which closes the door to blessings.

The story of Tony Snow illustrates beautifully what thanksgiving really means.  Tony Snow was the White House press secretary during the administration of President George W. Bush.  He died of colon cancer in 2008.  Seven months before his death Tony was speaking to a group of journalists and said these words, "In many ways, having cancer was the very best thing that ever happened to me, other than marrying my wife."  He went on to say that cancer is not a blessing but God often uses it to teach us something we never knew and deepens our faith.  We find out what matters most in life.  

After his first cancer operation, Tony said that he had to stay in bed.  During that time he read the Bible in bed and prayed like he had never done before.  He asked God to draw nearer to him and God did.  He felt a joy inside him that he never had before, knowing that God was with him every step of the way and that no matter what happened, God would never leave him.  Tony Snow learned what being thankful truly meant.  

On behalf of the Allen and Reva Minor family, and our German Shepherd, Max, we wish you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving.  






Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Where Did The Wow Go?

What gives meaning to your life?  What is it that motivates you each morning and gets you through the day?  What do you have to look forward to?  In short, what makes you happy?

Does your happiness involve getting or giving?  Most of us enjoy receiving a present.  Christmas is coming up and will be here before we know it.  I remember as a child receiving my first present.  On Christmas eve, I could hardly get to sleep.  When I woke up it was still dark.  I went into the living room.  The lights on the Christmas tree were shining and there it was under the Christmas tree.  I couldn't have been happier.  It was a Texaco Gas Station complete with cars and little play action figures.  Wow!  It doesn't get better than this as a little kid.  That's as good at gets.  Wow!

When is the last time you had a "Wow!" experience?  When one of my family members was about the same age as I was when I got that great present, I decided to get him a present to recapture the "Wow!"  Not just any present but one designed to get a "Wow!"  After careful research I decided to get him a remote control car.  It was shiny red with racing decals on it and it could "lay rubber."  I had trouble getting to sleep again that Christmas Eve, but not because I was going to get something, but because I was going to give something.  When he opened up that present you could see his eyes flash and he was so happy.  We both had a "Wow!" experience.

I believe that what gives meaning to our lives is when we get outside of ourselves and give to others.  When is the last time you truly helped someone?  Whether the other person was in a financial, physical, or psychological crisis.  When, because of you, you were able to change another person's life.  You, with the help of God, were able to make the world a better place to live.  This is where you will feel the "Wow!"  

Monday, November 11, 2013

Crossing The Rubicon

Crossing the Rubicon is one of the world's oldest phrases dating back to Julius Caesar.  After one of Julius Caesar's successful military campaigns, Roman Emperor Pompey became fearful that he might one day take his throne.  So, under pretext of honoring Caesar, Pompey ordered him to leave his army and report to Rome immediately.  Caesar knew that if he did this he would probably be  assassinated.  Instead, Caesar led his troops across the rive Rubicon in a surprise attack on Rome and seized power.  Once across the Rubicon, there was no turning back.  

Jesus was crossing the Rubicon when He passed over the Brook Kidron on His way to the Garden of Gethsemane on the eve of His crucifixion.  There was no turning back.  He realized full well that it meant His betrayal, trial, and His crucifixion and death.  He crossed over in obedience.

How many Christians have been baptized but have never really crossed the Rubicon where they give themselves freely and totally to God?  Every human being will and must one day approach their own Rubicon and must decide to either cross it or let it slip through their fingers.  

James Russell Lowell in his famous poem wrote:  "Once to every man and nation, comes the moment to decide.  In the strife of truth with falsehood, for the good or evil side.  Some great cause, some new decision, offering each the bloom or blight, and the choice goes by forever.  Twixt that darkness and that light."

If you are married, ask yourself this question:  "Have I crossed the Rubicon for my marriage?"  What that means is this.  Have you come to the point where all of your suit cases are unpacked?  Where you have made the decision that whatever happens, happens.  For example, if you are a man and your wife has breast cancer, will that be a game changer for you?  Or are you all the way in.  No matter what happens, for better or worse, you will love her and never leave her.  Regardless of the circumstances, you have crossed the Rubicon and no matter what happens, you will always remain faithful.  

This is what Jesus asks of us.  John 6:66 says, "From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more."  Then Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you also want to go away?"  Jesus wasn't putting up with it anymore.  No more sitting on the fence.  He's asking them if they want to go with Him or not.  Either you are going to cross the Rubicon now or you're never going to.  But if you do, there's no turning back.  You have to be all in.  

Following the Lord means a serious walk with Him.  If God is speaking to you now.  If you feel He's touched your heart, then you need to do something about it.  Can you hear Jesus asking you, "Do you also want to go away?"  Are you going to cross the Rubicon with Jesus?  Are you going to say the words of the Apostles, "We have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."


Thursday, October 31, 2013

Focused

"One day I'm going to do it."  Have you ever said those words?  "One day . . . ?"  When is that day coming?  When are you going to do it?  What is stopping you from just doing it?  One of Nike's great advertising campaigns is simply this:  "Just do it."


Sigmund Freud believed that we can fool ourselves without being aware of it.  For example, he believed that we forget what we don't want to do.  Has that ever happened to you?  Have you ever forgotten to do what yo were supposed to do?  If you have, you have lost your focus.


We become whatever it is we are focused on.  For example, people who are satisfied and successful think differently than other people.  They focus on the situation at hand and achieve whatever it is they are focusing on.  Many people do just the opposite.  They are not focused.  Instead, their thinking is scattered.  Since they are not focused, they don't get things done.  They are in every sense of the word, "procrastinators."  They don't get things done on time, if at all.  The people around them lose confidence in them.  The easiest thing in the world is to do "nothing."  It takes minimal skill and little energy.  Remember, we become what we are focused on.


Jesus reminds us to stay focused in Matthew 6:33, when He says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."  The word "seek" means to look for and desire but it also means to "take aim at,"  to focus our energy on the kingdom of God.  By focusing on the kingdom of God, Jesus reminds us that we will achiever it.  Where our focus goes, our energy flows.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Foundations of the Bible


FOUNDATIONS OF THE BIBLE

January 08  Introduction:  How the Old Testament came about.
January 15  The Patriarchs.  1900-1700 B.C.  (Genesis 12-25).
January 22  The Exodus.  1280 B.C.  (Exodus 1-15).
January 29 The Wilderness.  1280-1250 B.C.  (Exodus 16-18; Numbers 11-20)
February 05 The Covenant at Sinai.  1280-1250 B.C.  (Exodus 19-24; 32-34).
February 12 The Conquest.  1250 B.C.  (Joshua 1-12, 23-24).
February 19 Confederation, Syncretism & Judges.  1250-1020 B.C.  (Judges).
February 26 Saul & Samuel.  1020-1000 B.C.  (I Samuel 1-15).
March 05     David.  1000-961 B.C.  (I Samuel 16 - I Kings 1-2).
March 12 Solomon.  961-922 B.C.  (I Kings 3-11).
March 19 Ninth Century Prophets.  (I Kings 17 - II Kings 10).
March 26      Eighth Century Prophets.  (Amos, Hosea).
April 02 Period of the Exile.  587-537 B.C.  (Isaiah 40 - 55).
April 09 Post Exile.  537-167 B.C.  (Haggai, Ezra, Nehemiah, Zechariah).
April 16 The Maccabees  &Apocalyptic.  167 B.C. to birth of Christ.  (Daniel).
April 23      Introduction:  How the New Testament came about.
April 30     The Gospel of Matthew.  (Matthew).
May 07 The Gospel of Mark.  (Mark).
May 14 The Gospel of Luke. (Luke).
May 21 The Gospel of John.  (John).
May 28 The Acts of the Apostles (Acts).
June 04 The Romans and Paul’s theology.  (Romans).
June 11 The Corinthians.  (I & II Corinthians).
June 18 The Thessalonians and Galatians.  (I, II Thessalonians & Galatians).
June 25 The Prison Letters.  (Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Philemon).
July 02 The Pastoral Letters.  (I, II Timothy, Titus).
July 09 The Letters of James and Hebrews.  (James, Hebrews).
July 16 The Letters of Peter and Jude.  (I, II Peter, Jude).
July 23 The Letters of John.  (I, II, III John).
July 30 The Apocalypse.  (Revelation).  



I will be teaching this class which will be held in the fellowship hall at Branson Christian Church.  The goal of this class will be for you to acquire a solid theological understanding of the entire Bible in 30 sessions.  Three ring view binders with type written class notes plus many handouts with world history timelines will be given free of charge to each participant.  This is open to anyone, not just Branson Christian Church members.  Please register by calling our Office Manager - Ginger at 417-334-3453.



Class Times:



Wednesday morning:  10:30 to 12:00
Wednesday evening:     6:30 to   8:00

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Should The Battered Woman Stay Or Leave

Throughout church history, many women have been advised to stay with their husbands by ministers, even though the minister knows that her husband has been abusing her.  I am not referring to all ministers but there are clearly many who do.  These ministers believe they are sincerely doing the right thing.  They believe the Bible ordains it and they have many Scriptures to back it up.  They  sincerely believe they are doing the right thing and convince the woman to stay with her husband on Biblical grounds; however, they are sincerely wrong!

When we talk about men abusing their wives (there are also women who abuse their husbands) we are talking about domestic violence.  Some research studies report that 40% of all police officers are injured, and 20% of all police officers are killed responding to domestic violence.  

Spousal abuse is very serious and the average minister has no professional training in this area.  They are in every way, over their head, and placing the abused spouse in harms way.  

Clinical psychologists, psychiatrists, and psychiatric social workers have specialized training in this area.  As soon as it is revealed that there is sufficient evidence to suspect violence in the marriage, marriage counseling is over.  If they are to be seen for counseling, it will need to be individual counseling.  It is simply too dangerous.  If the couple is seen in marital counseling and the abuser hears her say something he doesn't like, she will be subject to his anger after the session is over.  

Years ago I conducted 12 session workshops for male abusers who were referred by the State of Ohio.  It would take roughly four sessions just to get the abusers to examine their denial system.  For example, it was not unusual for the man to say, "It's her fault . . . if she would keep her mouth shut . . ."  I remember one man who felt he was being railroaded in taking the workshop (they had to pay for it out of their own pockets) who refused to take any responsibility for his actions and denied any wrongdoing whatsoever.  I had his police papers in front of me and when I pointed out that he hit his wife in the face so hard it required extensive plastic surgery, he was still in denial blaming her for everything that happened.   

In those days it was called impulse control therapy, today it is called anger management.  In emotionally charged situations, abusers can be very violent.  Imagine what it would be like if you had a violent dog living in your home and you had to be very careful of everything you did, so you didn't get attacked.  Many women subject to abuse describe their marriage this way.

Imagine if you will, a Christian woman who is completely torn as to what to do.  She wants to do the right thing, but what is the right thing?  Who do you listen to?  Will the church help or hurt you?  Who do you trust?  Do you even trust yourself anymore?  (I'll be doing another blog on "learned helplessness" which really sheds light on the behavioral aspects of this syndrome - including a discussion on "classical conditioning," think of the movie " A Clock Work Orange.")  

There are many other things involved, e.g., escape plans, shelters, money issues, etc.  Restraining orders have mixed reviews and most are not positive.  I could write several blogs on these issues but that is not my focus here.

What exactly can a minister do?  Please do not do marriage counseling.  The Lord does not want his children being abused!  The first responsible thing to do is to get the best treatment available.  Refer them to people who are trained to handle these situations; specialists who are Christian if possible.  If it is a small community and there are no other specialists available, or if it is a situation where there just is no money available, or there is a  long waiting list, the minister may have to see them separately.  

Read everything you can on domestic violence.  Get a mentor who will help you if that is possible.  Pray for guidance from God before every session - do not miss - the Holy Spirit is ready and willing to help you.  (Clinical psychologists do not give directives to patients - that means that if the patient is competent to make decisions - the patient is the one who makes the final decision to stay or leave.  If the patient is incompetent, i.e., is so confused and brain washed that she is not capable of protecting herself or her children, then escape plans, women's shelter, police protection, etc. may be in order.)  The women who are killed by the man who "loves them" die within the first few days of leaving.  You must be extremely careful.  

Can an abuser change?  The answer is yes.  Can a marriage be restored?  Yes.  Can God work miracles?  Yes.  (If the abuser is antisocial - i.e., a psychopath, the odds are very, very slim for change and only God can save them.  If the abuser is a narcissist, the odds are also slim as they do not have the capacity for love.) 

In regards to the woman's point of view.  If you have children, your first priority is to protect them.  Research reveals that children and animals can be in danger also.  You have to make the right decision which will affect your entire life and also your children if you have children.  Remember, you are not yourself.  You have changed.  You will be suffering from multiple traumas.  Most likely you will be suffering from "learned helplessness."  You are confused as to what is the right thing to do.  You need an anchor.  Who is that anchor?  Is it God?  Does He hear you?  Is it a friend?  Is it a competent therapist?  You absolutely must get help.  It is not
going to get better no matter what the abuser tells you.  Something has to change and it has to change now!  

If you can find an experienced, caring, and competent Christian therapist, everything is eventually going to be ok.  (Please be aware that there are many therapists out there who advertise themselves as Christian therapists to get clients - but they have no credentials- ask them what seminary or Bible College they went to - if none - be very careful.)

In regards to the man's point of view.  There are men who do want to change but do not know how to do it.  They just do not have the tools to deal with stress and earlier traumas in their  lives.  These men can change and with the right guidance they will.  Marital therapy can then be continued.  

Luke 4:18, is everything that I try to pattern myself after, and perhaps you can also:

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed."   
                                                               Luke 4:18:  NKJV                          

       







  






Saturday, October 12, 2013

"Are Men and Women Equal?"

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."
                                                                             Ephesians 5:22

"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
                                                                             Genesis 1:27

People typically study the Bible through the eyes of their own individual prejudices, i.e., they tend to read "into" the Scriptures rather than "out of" them as the Holy Spirit meant when He directed His servants to write them.  Perhaps the greatest misunderstanding in the entire Bible concerns gender equality or lack thereof.  

Throughout world history, women have had the greatest struggle imaginable just to regain what God intended for them to have in the very beginning.  When you consider that women in America were not deemed good enough to vote until 1920, you can begin to appreciate the struggle.  (Being married to an ordained minister who has earned two doctoral degrees and observing her journey has given me an intimate perspective of this struggle.)

Most people can find verses to support their position.  What must be kept in mind, however, is that God from the very beginning created man and woman as equal.  He ordained both man and woman to walk with Him and be as one.  Men and women are designed to fulfill different roles but God created them equal.  

The next blog will explore the dangers of not understanding this.    "Should a Christian woman stay with an abusive husband?"  "Do many ordained ministers encourage women to stay in an abusive relationship?"  "Should the average minister be counseling couples who are involved in violence?"    









Monday, September 30, 2013

Helping The Battered Woman

Perhaps the most alarming statistic concerning battered women, is the estimate that one out of three women will be battered at some time in their life by a man who "loves" them.

I began working with battered women in 1973 at the request of the medical director at a mental health center in which I was employed.  I discovered quickly that there was little if any research on battered women during this time period.  Thus, the only thing to do was to begin exploring these issues first hand by beginning a battered women's group.  The first group was composed of eight young women with obvious physical injuries.  What was not so obvious were the psychological injuries.  When asked why they stayed in a relationship with a man who had injured them they all professed to love him.  That answer was not compatible with common sense.  Thus began a journey into the psyche of the battered woman in search of the answer to the question, "why?"  

Many theories have been proposed, ranging from the earliest psychoanalytic theory by Anna Freud involving "identification with the aggressor - out of fear and not love" to current social and reality focused issues such as economics, religious issues, and fear of retaliation.  All of these theories and social issues are clearly real and very true; however, I still found them to fall short of answering the critical question of "why?"  If a person were to look at all of the women who fall victim to battering, it is clear they will discover that some women were reared in warm and caring families, had many economic resources available, as well as support systems and strong academic credentials.  Why do these women still remain in abusive relationships?  

I discovered, in studying prisoner of war research, a method of brain washing that proved to be very enlightening.  Upon further exploration, I isolated five variables to accomplish the objective of brainwashing American prisoners of war:  (1) fear, (2) isolation, (3) poverty, (4) interrogation, and (5) propaganda.  No human being can be brainwashed without the first variable - fear.  This was easily accomplished by any type of physical punishment.  The second variable was also easily accomplished by isolating the soldier, as camaraderie would provide ego enhancing opportunities and reality checks.  The third variable was accomplished by withholding any monetary goods as this represented a form of power, e.g., cigarettes could be exchanged for favors which represented at least an illusion of having some control.  The fourth variable involved interrogation which destroyed confidence, and never communication which would enhance self-esteem.  The fifth variable involved propaganda designed to enhance the captor's point of view and humiliate the captive.

It became increasingly clear to me that the batterer, although not familiar with this type of research, was using the same psychological warfare.  He developed fear in the woman, generally by hitting her; isolated her by trying to convince her that her friends were bad for her; kept a strong reign on the money; interrogated her as to her whereabouts; and humiliated her by trying to convince her she was not worthy and he was so much better.  The woman eventually becomes brainwashed.  Cycles of violence continue with the hope that he will change; however, despite desperate pleas from loved ones, she seems even more trapped.  

Help for the battered woman begins with the personal insight into this brainwashing scheme, portrayed so frequently by charming men.  The battered woman needs to seriously ask herself, "does my partner raise my self-esteem or does he lower my self-esteem?"  Good men who have the capacity for love, never lower a woman's self-esteem through power and control tactics.  They seek to raise and affirm their partner's confidence through mutual respect.  Seeking the services of an experienced therapist to explore whether or not one is a battered woman, should not be considered a weakness, but rather an opportunity for self-growth and inner freedom.  

In my next blog, I will explore the spiritual dynamics of staying with an abuser.  Does the average minister encourage a wife to stay with an abusing husband?  Does the Scriptures say a wife must remain loyal to her husband regardless of circumstances, e.g., unconditional love, "in sickness and in health, in poverty and wealth, until death does separate us?"  

It has been 40 years since I first got involved with battered women.    In 40 years, nothing has changed.    

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

A Prayer For The Very Weary

Every once in a while I will find a prayer that will touch my heart. If you have ever helped a loved one with pain they are going through, this will resonate throughout your soul.

This was written by Grace Noll Crowell.


"Dear Child, God does not say today, 'Be strong!'
He knows your strength is spent;  
He knows how long the road has been,
How weary you have grown,
For He who walked the earthly roads alone,
Each bogging lowland, and each long steep hill,
Can understand, and so he says, 
'Be still and know that I am God.'
The hour is late, and you must rest awhile,
And you must wait
Until life's empty reservoirs fill up
As slow rain fills an empty, upturned cup,
Hold up your cup, dear child, for God to fill,
He only asks today that you be still."

If you have a favorite prayer that you would like to share, please let me know.  

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Touching Lives We May Never Know

"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."    I Corinthians 15:58

Do you ever wonder if what you do is significant?  Will anything you do ever make a real difference in the work of the Lord?  Perhaps the story of Elias Kimball can give us hope.  Elias was a Sunday School teacher who worked with a class of young men in Boston.  In 1858, Elias felt the tugging of the Holy Spirit move him to share his faith with a young shoe salesman he knew.  At first, he was hesitant to do so, but finally went into the shoe store and shared his faith with him.  As a result, the young shoe salesman prayed and received Christ that day.  The shoe salesman's name was Dwight L. Moody who went on to become the greatest evangelist of his generation.  Dwight Moody moved to Chicago where he started a Sunday School work among children that would eventually lead to the Moody Bible Institute.

In 1879, Moody went to England to lead an evangelistic crusade.  At first, the British clergy found his sermons too overly emotional. One minister in particular, F.B. Meyer was very critical of him until a lady from his church convinced him that Moody was truly a great minister.  Meyer decided to give him another chance and was won over by his dynamic preaching.  Meyer was so influenced by Moody that he became a traveling evangelist.

Years late while preaching in America, Meyer was approached by a young minister named J. Wilbur Chapman who was so discouraged he was ready to resign.  Meyer counseled him and Chapman regained his faith and began a career as an evangelist in the early 20th century.  Before long, Chapman knew he would need an assistant and recruited a highly motivated but largely uneducated former professional baseball player.  This ball player was Billy Sunday who would go on to win over one million people to the Lord.

In 1924, Billy Sunday was preaching a crusade in Charlotte, North Carolina.  It changed the city.  One result was a group of young men who were so moved that they started a small prayer group.  That prayer group continued to pray for years and during the midst of the Great Depression they felt a strong need for Charlotte to have another great revival.  In 1934, they recruited a man named Mordecai Hamm to preach the crusade.  During the last night of the Crusade, under the big tent, one tall, lanky young man walked up the aisle to receive Christ.  That man's name was William Franklin Graham or Billy as millions around the world would soon know him.  Billy Graham would go on to become the greatest evangelist the world has ever known.

As you think of this story, which person do you think was the most important?  Graham?  Sunday?  They clearly are the most familiar.  However, in a sense, perhaps the most important was a humble, everyday, Sunday School teacher named Elias Kimball.  Most of us will never be a Billy Graham or Billy Sunday.  But you could be an Elias Kimball.  You could be a humble, faithful servant whose name few may remember, but a future harvest of your labors might forever change the world.  

Monday, September 9, 2013

The Authority of Scripture

In August of 1949, Billy Graham was on the verge of making a decision of whether or not to begin his evangelistic crusades which would ultimately make him the most well known evangelist in America.  However, he had to struggle with his personal doubts about whether the Bible was completely true or not.  In his autobiography, "Just As I Am" he said these words one evening, "I had no doubts concerning the deity of Jesus Christ or the validity of the Gospel, but was the Bible completely true?  As that night wore on, my heart became heavily burdened.  Could I trust the Bible?  If I could not trust the Bible, I could not go on.  I would have to leave pulpit evangelism.  I was thirty years of age.  It was not too late to become a dairy farmer.  But that night I believed with all my heart that the God who had saved my soul would never let go of me.  I got up and took a walk . . . dropping to my knees there in the woods, I opened the Bible at random on a tree stump in front of me . . . the exact wording of my prayer is beyond recall, but it must have echoed my thoughts:  'O God!  There are many things in this book I do not understand.  There are many problems with it for which I have no solution.' 

I was trying to be on the level with God, but something remained unspoken.  At last the Holy Spirit freed me to say it.  'Father, I am going to accept this as Thy Word - by faith!  I'm going to allow faith to go beyond my intellectual questions and doubts, and I will believe this to be Your inspired Word.'  When I got up from my knees at Forest Home that August night, my eyes stung with tears.  I sensed the presence and power of God as I had not sensed it in months.  Not all my questions were answered, but a major bridge had been crossed.  In my heart and mind, I knew a spiritual battle in my soul had been fought and won."

This was the turning point for Billy Graham.  From that moment on he could preach the Word of God with power and authority.  Billy Graham's favorite expression was, "the Bible says."  He didn't defend or apologize for the Bible, he just presented it.

The Bible is the word of God.  It is not the word of human beings.  II Timothy 3:16 tells us, "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness."  The Greek word here for inspiration means literally, "inbreathed by God" and has a direct connection to the Holy Spirit.  This means that the Holy Spirit was the One influencing the human beings who wrote the different books of the Bible.  Psalm 119:160 states, "The entirety of your word is 
truth . . . " John 6:63 tells us, "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing.  The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life."

Have you ever had your Billy Graham moment when you wrestled within your soul about the truth of the Bible?  

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The Angel of the Lord

There is one angel in the Bible that is different than all the others.  This angel was not created.  He appears 40 times in the Old Testament.  He is referred to as "the" Angel of the Lord.  Not an angel of the Lord.  The word Angel is capitalized.  (I recommend the New King James Version of the Bible as it is the closest to the New Testament Greek which is "koine" Greek.  It gives the highest respect to the Trinity and whenever God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit is mentioned, it is always capitalized.)

To understand this perfectly, we have to build a strong foundation. The word "incarnate" means to clothe with flesh, to embody, to give bodily form.  The opposite of incarnate is "pre-incarnate" and this means to have no body.

John 1:1 states, "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God."   The Word is Jesus Christ.

Where shall we begin to study this?  Let's look at John 1:2 which states, "He was in the beginning with God."

Where is the beginning?  How about Genesis 1:1, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."  Many people feel that the Holy Spirit does not show up until the New Testament but that is not correct.  Look at Genesis 1:2, " . . . and the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters."  The Spirit of God is the Holy Spirit.  (Again, when you see the capital letters it always refers to divinity - either God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit.)

How do we know that the Trinity is seen in the Old Testament?  Let's look at Genesis 1:26:  "Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness . . . "  Who is the Us and who is the Our?  Again, it is the Holy Trinity of God, Jesus and Holy Spirit.

Now back to the Gospel of John.  John 1:14, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."

If the Word, which is Jesus, became flesh, it implies that before He became flesh, He did not have flesh.  He was in a pre-incarnate state.  

As mentioned, there are 40 references to the Angel of the Lord in the Old Testament but I am only going to pick one for this blog.  Let's look at Genesis 16:7.  Hagar is Sarah's maid and needs help.  "Now the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur."  

Another interesting observation is this.  After Jesus is born, the Angel of the Lord is never mentioned in the Bible again.  Why?  Since Jesus now had a body, the pre-incarnate Jesus would not be necessary anymore.

In Hebrews, we have this picture of the pre-incarnate Christ getting ready to become the incarnate Christ.  This is the presentation of the Redeemer when Jesus became flesh and dwelt among us.  Hebrews 10:5-7, "Therefore, when He came into the world, He said:  'Sacrifice and offering You did not desire, but a body You have prepared for Me.  In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin You had no pleasure.  Then I said, "Behold, I have come - in the volume of the book it is written of Me - To do Your will, O God."

This is a conversation that took place just before Jesus left the presence of the Father in one moment into becoming microscopic size in the womb of the virgin Mary in Nazareth.  Jesus would experience nearly every event that a human being would experience, including being born of a woman.  

It is absolutely overwhelming that God could possibly love us this much that He would send His only Son to die for us that we might have the opportunity to live throughout eternity with Him.  

Thirty-three years later, Jesus will kneel in a garden, and His humanness will say, "If there is any other way that the Scheme of Redemption can be fulfilled, let this cup pass from Me."  As we know, there was no other way, and Jesus says the same thing in the garden just as He said when He left glory and entered into the womb of a virgin:  "Not My will but Your will be done."  

And Jesus went to Calvary.  Jesus, our Savior, hung on a cross and the price for our spiritual salvation and physical healing was paid.  Jesus paid the price for our sin with His blood.  He completely broke the power of the devil and enslavement to sin.  One day we will be taken from the presence of sin into His presence forever and ever.  Where there will be no more tears.  No more pain.  Only eternal love and joy.  

Jesus came as a babe in a manger.  The lamb of God.  But He's coming back again, only this time as the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.  


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Are You As Smart As A 7th Grader Answers

Q. 1:  How many books in the Old Testament?  (39)

Q. 2:  How many books in the New Testament?  (27)

Q. 3:  How many books in the Bible?  (66)

Q. 4:  What does the gospel mean?  (The Good News)

Q. 5:  What one verse explains the gospel?  (John 3:16)

Q. 6:  What language was the Old Testament written?  (Hebrew)

Q. 7:  What language was the New Testament written?  (Greek)

Q. 8:  What language did Jesus speak predominantly?  (Aramaic)

Q. 9:  What was the Exodus?  (Moses led Hebrews out of slavery
           in Egypt and into the promised land.)

Q. 10: What was the name of the promised land?  (Canaan)

Q. 11: What year was the Old Testament put together?  (90 A.D.)

Q. 12: What year was the New Testament?  (367 A.D.)

Q. 13: What are the first four books of the N.T. called?  (Gospels)

Q. 14: What was the first Bible in 1622?  (King James Version)

Q. 15: What are the two sacraments of the Protestant Church?
            (Baptism and Communion)

     If you got 10 out of 15 right, consider yourself almost as smart as a 7th grader.  If you got more than that right, Jesus might say, "You are not far from the Kingdom."

     If you did well, let me know and leave a comment.  


Saturday, August 17, 2013

Are You As Smart As A 7th Grader?

Confirmation in some churches is composed of 7th and 8th graders who spend almost a year studying the Bible.  Here is a 15 question list that measures some of the important things they learn.  In the next blog I will provide the answers.  See how you do.

Q. 1:  How many books are there in the Old Testament?

Q. 2:  How many books are there in the New Testament?

Q. 3:  How many books are there in the Bible?

Q. 4:  What does the word Gospel really mean?

Q. 5:  What one verse in the Bible explains the word Gospel?

Q. 6:  What language was the Old Testament written in?

Q. 7:  What language was the New Testament written in?

Q. 8:  What language did Jesus predominantly speak?

Q. 9:  What was the Exodus?

Q. 10: What was the name of the "promised land?"

Q. 11:  What year was the Old Testament put together?

Q. 12:  What year was the New Testament put together?

Q. 13:  What are the first four books of the New Testament called? 

Q. 14:  What was the name of the first Bible published in 1622?

Q. 15:  What are the two sacraments of the Protestant Church?  

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Whatever Became Of Sin?

Why did Jesus come to earth?  Why was He born?  Matthew answers these questions in Matthew 1:21:  "And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins."

Sins?  Whatever became of sin?  Jesus came to save us from our sins.  That is the heart of the Gospel.  Sin is the great problem of the human race.  Jesus came to free us from our sins.  That's what His name is about.  The name of Jesus is derived from the word Joshua and can be translated, "He shall save."  The word save translated from Greek means to both save spiritually and to heal physically.  You might say that there is a transformation process that takes place.  

No human being is perfect.  We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God.  God cannot tolerate sin.  That is why we need a Savior.  The cross only makes sense if humanity is hopelessly lost. It only makes sense if we can do something to save ourselves.  Only then does the cross make sense, otherwise Jesus suffered for no apparent reason.

We accept Jesus into our heart by proclaiming that He is the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of God and believing that God raised Him from the dead.  However, we must do more that that.  Just saying that Jesus is the Christ is not enough because even the demons know that, and with trembling.  We also must repent of our sins.  

Jesus begins His ministry by saying, "Repent, for the kingdom of Heaven is at hand."  The Greek word for repent is metanoia, which means a complete change of mind and lifestyle.  It means much more than just remorse, which is a temporary emotion.  It means a complete change, which is a permanent condition.  Jesus wants us to be transformed from sinner to devoted Christian.  The Bible tells us, "Abandon your sin and submit to the Lord by faith in the blood of the Lamb."  Faith is a gift from God and it produces grace.

The story of John Newton is amazing.  He was a notorious sinner, although he was reared by a Christian mother who died when he was only seven.  By the age of eleven he was working at sea with his father.  He was totally abused at sea and became hardened to the point of hating everyone.  As he grew up he took over his own ships and became a slave trader.  Then one day John Newton gave up his sins and cried to the Lord in true repentance - transformation - not cheap grace.  He sat down and wrote these words:  "Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see."  This became one of the great hymns of the church - Amazing Grace.


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Kingdom



I.  The kingdom refers to God’s domain.  
     A.  The kingdom is where God lives.
1.  It is an invisible realm.  The throne of God is the 
            center of the kingdom.  The spiritual realm.
2.  The kingdom is realized when what happens here 
            on earth is at it is in heaven.  
3.  The kingdom comes in the presence of the Holy Spirit.
            Worship and prayer can cause heaven to invade earth.
B.  Faith brings God’s world into our world.
    1.  “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence
of things not seen.”  (Hebrews 11:1)
  2.  When we pray we loose what is in heaven to be loosed
on earth.
   3.  Faith is the connection by way of prayer. 
   4.  When does the kingdom come?  
a.  It comes in the presence of the Spirit of God.
b.  Whenever miracles or healings occur it breaks
                through.

     C.  Jesus spent 40 days teaching His disciples the kingdom.
       1.  Easter is resurrection Sunday.  Pentecost is Pentecost 
Sunday.  Pentecost also means 50.  Subtract 40 from 50
will give you the number of days the disciples spent in the
            upper room.  That number is ten.
      2.  On resurrection Sunday, Jesus breathed on the apostles
and told them to receive the Holy Spirit.  They were 
then indwelt with the Holy Spirit.  However, they were
not filled with the Holy Spirit because that came on 
Pentecost Sunday.
      3.  All Christians are indwelt with the Holy Spirit but not
all Christians are filled with the Holy Spirit.  You must
pray for God to fill you with the Holy Spirit.
      4.  Through baptism we are indwelt with the Holy Spirit
which is our salvation.
      5.  To be baptized in the Holy Spirit is to be filled with
the Spirit and this equips us with power to carry forth
the Great Commission.  (Matthew 28:16-20).

II.  Do you know when the presence of God is near?
     A.  He’s showing up but do you know it?
1.  Some people feel a sensation in their body.  Some feel
            His actual presence by sensing it around them.  Some
            may want to feel like crying when God’s presence is
             near.  People have different experiences.
2.  The glory of God is when God is in your midst.  When
            God is in your midst healing takes place as well as 
            miracles.  Thus, the question is, “How can we ask God
            to come in or midst?”
B.  We can change the atmosphere of our environment.
   1.  Our internal environment can change our external 
environment.  Unfortunately, the external environment
can also change our internal environment.
   2.  We are to live consciously that the Holy Spirit is within
us and to be aware of His presence.
   3.  The Bible says we are to allow the Holy Spirit to flow
through is like a river to help others.  Too many
          Christians have imprisoned the Holy Spirit instead.
   4.  Being aware of the Holy Spirit within us, and seeking to
do God’s will by being obedient, we can release the Holy
Spirit into the atmosphere to change that environment.
   5.  For example, going to a jail and the prisoner feels 
horrible and without hope.  By praying with this person
you can release the Holy Spirit of God into that jail
cell and change that entire environment by the power,
dunamis, of God.  Giving that person hope.
   6.  By being obedient, for we cannot save or heal anyone,
we allow the Holy Spirit to do the work.  In so doing,
we have allowed the kingdom of God to break through.
Heaven will have actually invaded earth.