Love

Have you ever loved anyone with all your heart?  Your world revolved around the object of your love.  You would do anything for them and you believed this was the "one" you would spend the rest of your life with?  

To only find out that they couldn't, or wouldn't love you back?  What was that like for you?  It hurt didn't it?  It hurt very much.  That is how God feels about you.  

The most important thing you can do in the world is to love God.  The One who made you.  The One you hope to spend all of eternity with.  

If you are married or in a serious relationship right now, I would like to ask you this question and see if you can give an honest answer.  It will either be a yes or a no.

Will you do anything for the object of your love?  There should be little hesitation in this question.  Of course, it is contingent on how deeply in love with this person you are, so the question is directed at serious lovers.  Do you have an answer yet?  

If you answered, "I'm not sure, it depends on the situation," you have given the wrong answer.  For you, it may be a matter of convenience, or it may be something like, "If it is within the law."

Again, all of these answers are absolutely wrong and I believe you need to take a serious look at your relationship and see what you can do to improve it.  

There is only one correct answer.  The answer is, "Yes."  You may want to know the logic behind this answer.  Again, to even ask this question, you are going to need to look at your relationship again.

Here is the logic behind the only answer to this question.  The answer is, "Yes," and here is why:

Number 1:  Do you love the object of your love?  

Answer:  Obviously yes if this is a serious relationship.

Number 2:  Do you trust the object of your love?

Answer:  Obviously yes if this is a serious relationship.  (If you don't trust the object of your love - it's the end of the question and for you the answer to the original question is, "No."

Number 3:  Would the object of your love ever intentionally hurt you? 

Answer:  Obviously no if this is a serious relationship.  (If you don't know if the object of your relationship would hurt you or not - it's the end of the question and for you the answer to the original question is, "No."

Number 4:  If you trust the object of your love and believe this person would never do anything to put you in harms way; for example, the object of your love is not going to ask you to murder someone, or to rob a bank, or to kill yourself, or bankrupt you - then you have your answer.  You would feel free to do anything for the object of your love because this person in turn loves you and would never be demanding nor ask you to do anything wrong.  

How about the One that made you, and like a great Father who loves his or her child and wants only the very best for you.  Will you do anything for God?  

There is a poker game called Texas hold'em, no limit.  When you have so much faith in your poker hand that you put all of your chips in the middle of the table and say, "I'm all in," you are saying that you are going all the way.  Everything you have is riding on this hand.  That is what God wants from you.  He's waiting for you to say, "I'm all in Lord."  I love you and I am now at the point that I can say, "I'm all in."  

When you get to this point in your life when you can love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength - you are now able to put the Great Commandment into action.  Your life will change forever.  You're all in.

We are approaching Valentine's Day.  People all over America will be talking about love.  May you find the love you are looking for and may God's love be with you.  

    

Love Letters To The Lord

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?"  Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment . . . "

                                                        Matthew 22:36-38

The question is this:  "How do we do that?"  How do we go about making the Lord our God the object of our love, and more important than any family member?

2016 is going to be a great year.  Here is a recommendation to make it your best year ever.

I want to challenge you to do this for one year, beginning this Friday the 1st, 2016.

I would like for you to purchase a journal, or any type of small book you can write your thoughts in.  I would like for you to call it, "Love Letters to the Lord," or any similar name you would feel comfortable calling it.

Each page of the journal would constitute one day.  That means you may only need to write one paragraph on the front of the page or you could write and fill up the front and the back but no more.  Contain it to one page.  365 pages would make up your one year assignment.

Begin by saying, "Dear Lord," or whatever makes you feel comfortable.  Begin to develop a personal relationship with the Lord.  Just write whatever comes into your heart.  It doesn't have to be perfect, just honest.  I would recommend that no one else would ever read this journal - just you and the Lord only.  

Jesus says that if you develop a close relationship with Him that He will answer your prayers:

"And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask anything in My name, I will do it."

                                                        John 14:13-14

The Bible tells us that the most important thing you can do in your life is to develop a personal relationship with the Lord.  God loves you and wants to bless you and wants to see you happy and enjoying your life.  I believe this challenge will enable you to do just that - to develop a personal relationship with Him.  

I believe if you are willing to do this, that your life will change, as the Lord will be with you.  When you love the Lord, you will receive blessings you never imagined.  God loves you and is waiting to hear from you.    

Hope For the Holidays

Dr. James Dobson relates the story of an elderly woman named Stella Thornhope who was struggling with her first Christmas alone.  Her husband had died just a few months prior through a slow developing cancer.  Late that afternoon the doorbell rang, and there was a delivery boy with a box.  She said, "What's in the box?"  The young man opened up the flap, and inside was a little puppy, a golden Labrador Retriever.  "This is for you, Ma'am.  He's six weeks old, completely housebroken."  "Who sent this?" Mrs. Thornhope asked.  

The young man handed her an envelope and said, "It's all explained here in this envelope, Ma'am."  In desperation she again asked, "Who sent me this puppy?"  As the young man turned to leave, he said, "Your husband, Ma'am.  Merry Christmas."  She opened up the letter from her husband.  He had written it three weeks before he died and left it with the kennel owners to be delivered with the puppy as his last Christmas gift to her.  The letter was full of love and encouragement and admonishments to be strong.  He vowed that he was waiting for the day when she would join him.  He had sent her this young animal to keep her company until then.  

She wiped away her tears and picked up the golden furry ball and held it to her neck.  Suddenly, Stella felt the most amazing sensation of peace washing over her.  Her heart felt a joy and a wonder greater than the grief and loneliness.  "Little fella,"  she said to the dog, "It's just you and me, but we are going to be okay."

This Christmas time will be a time of happiness for so many people around the world.  However, it will also be a time of sadness for many people who have lost loved ones and who will feel the loneliness that is so hard to deal with.  Our Lord knows the loneliness that you may feel and He comes to us in many different ways.  I believe that God sends angels in many forms to comfort us when we are feeling heartbroken.  In Luke 4:18, Jesus says these words to us, " . . . He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted . . . "  I believe these words to be true and may God bless you and your family this Christmas season.  

What is the Job Description of a Christian?

What is the job description of a Christian, i.e., what are you supposed to do according to the Bible?

I believe that there is only one job description.  That job description is this:  "Change lives."

How do we do that?  We do that through proclaiming the name of Christ.  

Let's begin with a serious look at God.  The Bible tells us that God is love.  It is not an adjective that describes God but rather a noun.  God is love.

When I study the life of Jesus Christ, I become more and more convinced that the most important characteristic of Jesus was that of "obedience," even obedience unto death.  (Philippians 2:8).  

The decision was made for Jesus to be born of a woman and to also be reared as a man with limitations of humanity, except for a sinful nature.  Jesus thus voluntarily gave up some of His Godly powers such as being omnipotent (all powerful) and omniscient (all knowing).  Jesus was still fully Divine but also human.  

Jesus said, "I can do nothing on my own accord, only what the Father tells me."  (John 5:19).  Jesus also said that even He did not know what day He was coming back and that only God knows that date.  (Mark 13:32).

With this background, let's make some sense out of this.  Two important events should help us.  The first is what is referred to as, "The Great Commission."  Jesus proclaimed that we are to, "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."  (Matthew 28:19-20).

The second event is found in Luke 9:1-2, "Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases.  He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick." This was their first mission.

I believe this means that part of our job as Christians is to change lives by healing the sick and casting out evil.  How do we really do this?  By proclaiming the name of Jesus through His authority and by the power of the Holy Spirit.  

The authority comes from Jesus which He stated in Matthew 28:18:  "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth."  Jesus commissions us with that authority in His name.  That is why we typically end prayers by saying in the name of Jesus.  That is what gives the prayer authority.  It can't be in the name of Pastor Al, e.g., but in the name of Jesus who has all authority.  

The power of the Holy Spirit.  The Greek word for power here is dunamis.  We get the english word dynamite from it.  It is the very essence of God and this power is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.  Jesus told His disciples to stay in the upper room and don't do anything until they received the, "Promise," which would be the power (dunamis) of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus knew that without the power of the Holy Spirit that the disciples would not be able to do anything.  Jesus then ascended into heaven.  

The disciples waited 10 days in the upper room before they received the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost (Acts 2:1-4).  Jesus was on the earth for 40 days following His resurrection.  Pentecost means 50.  Subtract 40 from 50 and you have 10.

Now the disciples had the authority and the power to change lives.  So, how do we do that?  We do it through obedience to God.  For example, if your grandchild had a fever or headache, you would place your hand on his or her head and simply pray, "Dear Lord, please heal my grandchild of his illness and I ask it in the name of Jesus Christ."  You would get no credit if he or she got better nor would you receive any blame if nothing happened.  It's not about you.  It is through the power of the Holy Spirit, and not your personal power, that is going to be doing the healing.  However, your job is to be obedient.  

Our primary faith belief is that healing will happen through the Holy Spirit in the authority and name of Jesus.  This is our faith belief.  However, there are clearly times when, for whatever reason, God does not grant the healing.  Two very big examples can be highlighted.  The first is Paul the Apostle.  In II Corinthians 12:8, Paul petitions the Lord to heal Him three times but his prayer is denied.  The second big example is seen in Luke 22:42, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away form Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

We change lives by being obedient to the will of God.  Sometimes, just a hug to someone who needs one; a telephone call to see how one is doing; and even just a smile.  

I believe our primary job is to be obedient to the will of God, just as Jesus was.  We get no glory nor blame for whatever happens.  It is not about us.  It is always about the Lord.  The final authority of what happens, when we put our faith in action by doing something, is always God.  

Thus, if I pray for someone to get well, I am doing everything God wants me to do.  I have great faith that my prayer will be answered; however, the outcome is not my responsibility.  My responsibility is to just do it.  God will make the final decision and it is always in His hands.  As Jesus said, when He prayed to His Father to "take this cup away from Me" (going to the cross), Jesus said, ". . . nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

We change lives by being obedient to God and having the faith to put our belief in action by proclaiming the name of Jesus through the authority He has given us and the power of the Holy Spirit.  

What Do Women Really Want From Men?

Having the privilege of listening to women reveal their struggles and dreams over the past forty years as a clinical psychologist, and also guarded legally by "privileged communication," I would like to offer a few of my personal and professional insights from the many women who have taught me what they really want from a man.   

Always a difficult subject to target because the age range of women create different criteria.  There is a difference between young women, middle aged women, and elderly women, in their thoughts and desires about what they want from men.  

I will try to make some type of composite of the three age groups.   What is it that a mature woman really wants from a man?  I believe she wants a man, "who can be vulnerable without being defensive."

So what does that mean?  

Let's answer it with a question.  What is it like to be a man in America?  You may recall this song by Whitesnake:  "Here I Go Again."

"An' here I go again on my own

Goin' down the only road I've ever known,

Like a hobo I was born to walk alone

'Cause I know what it means 

To walk along the lonely street of dreams."

The typical man was reared to be strong and not vulnerable.  To be strong was culturally indoctrinated at a young age.  If you fell off your bicycle, the first question your buddies asked was, "Did you cry?"

I, personally, have always had three rules in my life that I have successfully and faithfully kept.  Three rules that, for better or worse, I still try to keep which shows how very strong this cultural indoctrination was instilled in me.  Rule #1:  "Don't cry.  Rule #2:  Don't cry, and Rule #3:  Don't cry." (Nothing to be proud of.)

An American tragedy is that men have traditionally equated vulnerability with weakness and even shame.  As a result, men have typically kept women at bay by not revealing the very substance of deep, emotional love.  Superficial love with the emphasis on sexual fulfillment has been the result, leaving an emptiness in many women. 

Brene Brown, in her book titled, "Daring Greatly,"  describes vulnerability as not a weakness, but rather the courage to engage another human being and dare to, ". . . show up and let ourselves be seen."  To connect with another human being is what love is about.  That requires courage to take the risk of being hurt or even rejected in the process, but the other option of playing safe and not taking risks, leads to disconnection, and a lack of meaning and purpose in our life.  

Vulnerability, the act of letting the object of your love know what is truly in your heart; the good, the bad, and the ugly, is the very heart and core of the human experience of emotional connection.  For the mature woman, if the man in your life refuses to have the courage to be vulnerable, you may end up wondering who this man really is.  Do you really know him?  Does he really know himself?  

When a man sees vulnerability as weakness and shame and walks away from it for fear that she will lose respect for him, he is walking away from the very thing that gives meaning and purpose to our life.  It is the American tragedy of what men struggle with.  Men have it backwards, but they don't know it.  The mature woman does not lose respect for the man who has the courage to dare to be vulnerable, but rather gains respect, admiration, and love.  

To be very clear, vulnerability means taking a risk.  To love means taking a risk.  It leaves us emotionally exposed.  We can certainly get hurt, and hurt deeply.  However, what is the other option?  A relationship that is mediocre at best?  

The second half of the statement of what mature women want:  ". . . without being defensive,"  is also very important.  It requires the object of your love to listen and not try to change the subject, e.g., "I was disappointed when you didn't take time to listen to me when I told you how hurt I was about what your mother said about how I took care of little Bobby."  The man than saying, "What about the time you mother did the same thing?"  Being defensive prevents the problem from ever being resolved.  To listen and try to understand what is being said without feeling attacked and defending your position is critical to a great relationship.

Perhaps the best advice I can ever give a couple is this.  "Adore each other.  Resolve anger before it builds walls and pushes the love out." Great relationships revolve around this concept to adore each other.  That's another article for the future.  For now, focus on being vulnerable.  It's what gives meaning and purpose to our life.  

  

Does Time Really Fly By As We Get Older?

If you were to ask people this question, the answer you would get from most people would be “Yes it does.”  Although the vast majority of people would agree, and everyone means well, they would all be wrong.  Time does not fly by as we get older.  It only seems that way.  Obviously, just getting older does not give us the power to disrupt the time-space continuum; however, why do we think we can?  

Psychologists have summarized five theories:

Theory number 1:  We gauge time by memorable events, e.g., first kiss, first day of school, etc.  As we grow older we have fewer new experiences. 

   

Theory number 2:  The amount of time passed is relative to one’s age.  For instance, for a 5-year old, one year is 20% of their entire life.  For a 50-year old, however, one year is only 2% of their life.

Theory number 3:  Our biological clock slows as we age by some type of internal pacemaker, whereas the external time just appears to go by more quickly. 

Theory number 4:  As we age we pay less attention to time; e.g., when you are a kid you count down the days until Santa brings you some cool stuff.

As an adult we get involved with paying bills, child care, etc., and the more attention we pay to these somewhat boring adult things the less we notice time slipping by.

Theory number 5:  Stress, stress, stress.  The feeling of not enough time to get things done seems to take over our personal time clock.

As human beings, we think of time as chronological.  God does not. The book of Revelation tells us in 22:13 these words from our Lord:  “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.”  Jesus is telling us that since He is the beginning and the ending that He encompasses all of eternity and all of time.  Jesus also tells us these words, “Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last, I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore.  Amen. “  So - slow down.  Smell the roses.  You will be with the Lord for all eternity.  

Independence Day

On July 4th, we celebrate Independence Day.  It is commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776.  The purpose was to declare independence from the oppression of Great Britain.  

There was a Committee of Five who tried to explain the Declaration of Independence.  Thomas Jefferson was the principle author of this venture.  Congress finally approved it on July 4th.

Interestingly, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the only signers of the Declaration of Independence who went on to become Presidents of the United States both died on July 4th, five hours apart, in 1826, which was the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.  

Another Founding Father, who did not sign the Declaration of Independence, who became President was James Monroe and he died on July 4th, 1831.  He became the third president in a row who died on July 4th.  

The Bible also presents us with a personal declaration of independence from our sins.  Isaiah 43:25, gives to us these precious words from God.  “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake.  And I will not remember your sins.”

I believe what this means is that whatever it was that you did or did not do, if you go to God in prayer with a repentant heart, that God will not only forgive you, but that God will wipe the slate clean as if it never even happened.  For those who worry about their salvation due to something they did in their past - these words tell us how much God loves us.  God wants to liberate us from the prison of our minds and set us free.  This is our declaration of independence and the assurance of our salvation by believing that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God.  By repenting of our sins and taking Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  Happy Independence Day.