Love Letters To The Lord

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?"  Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment . . . "

                                                        Matthew 22:36-38

The question is this:  "How do we do that?"  How do we go about making the Lord our God the object of our love, and more important than any family member?

2016 is going to be a great year.  Here is a recommendation to make it your best year ever.

I want to challenge you to do this for one year, beginning this Friday the 1st, 2016.

I would like for you to purchase a journal, or any type of small book you can write your thoughts in.  I would like for you to call it, "Love Letters to the Lord," or any similar name you would feel comfortable calling it.

Each page of the journal would constitute one day.  That means you may only need to write one paragraph on the front of the page or you could write and fill up the front and the back but no more.  Contain it to one page.  365 pages would make up your one year assignment.

Begin by saying, "Dear Lord," or whatever makes you feel comfortable.  Begin to develop a personal relationship with the Lord.  Just write whatever comes into your heart.  It doesn't have to be perfect, just honest.  I would recommend that no one else would ever read this journal - just you and the Lord only.  

Jesus says that if you develop a close relationship with Him that He will answer your prayers:

"And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask anything in My name, I will do it."

                                                        John 14:13-14

The Bible tells us that the most important thing you can do in your life is to develop a personal relationship with the Lord.  God loves you and wants to bless you and wants to see you happy and enjoying your life.  I believe this challenge will enable you to do just that - to develop a personal relationship with Him.  

I believe if you are willing to do this, that your life will change, as the Lord will be with you.  When you love the Lord, you will receive blessings you never imagined.  God loves you and is waiting to hear from you.    

Hope For the Holidays

Dr. James Dobson relates the story of an elderly woman named Stella Thornhope who was struggling with her first Christmas alone.  Her husband had died just a few months prior through a slow developing cancer.  Late that afternoon the doorbell rang, and there was a delivery boy with a box.  She said, "What's in the box?"  The young man opened up the flap, and inside was a little puppy, a golden Labrador Retriever.  "This is for you, Ma'am.  He's six weeks old, completely housebroken."  "Who sent this?" Mrs. Thornhope asked.  

The young man handed her an envelope and said, "It's all explained here in this envelope, Ma'am."  In desperation she again asked, "Who sent me this puppy?"  As the young man turned to leave, he said, "Your husband, Ma'am.  Merry Christmas."  She opened up the letter from her husband.  He had written it three weeks before he died and left it with the kennel owners to be delivered with the puppy as his last Christmas gift to her.  The letter was full of love and encouragement and admonishments to be strong.  He vowed that he was waiting for the day when she would join him.  He had sent her this young animal to keep her company until then.  

She wiped away her tears and picked up the golden furry ball and held it to her neck.  Suddenly, Stella felt the most amazing sensation of peace washing over her.  Her heart felt a joy and a wonder greater than the grief and loneliness.  "Little fella,"  she said to the dog, "It's just you and me, but we are going to be okay."

This Christmas time will be a time of happiness for so many people around the world.  However, it will also be a time of sadness for many people who have lost loved ones and who will feel the loneliness that is so hard to deal with.  Our Lord knows the loneliness that you may feel and He comes to us in many different ways.  I believe that God sends angels in many forms to comfort us when we are feeling heartbroken.  In Luke 4:18, Jesus says these words to us, " . . . He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted . . . "  I believe these words to be true and may God bless you and your family this Christmas season.  

What is the Job Description of a Christian?

What is the job description of a Christian, i.e., what are you supposed to do according to the Bible?

I believe that there is only one job description.  That job description is this:  "Change lives."

How do we do that?  We do that through proclaiming the name of Christ.  

Let's begin with a serious look at God.  The Bible tells us that God is love.  It is not an adjective that describes God but rather a noun.  God is love.

When I study the life of Jesus Christ, I become more and more convinced that the most important characteristic of Jesus was that of "obedience," even obedience unto death.  (Philippians 2:8).  

The decision was made for Jesus to be born of a woman and to also be reared as a man with limitations of humanity, except for a sinful nature.  Jesus thus voluntarily gave up some of His Godly powers such as being omnipotent (all powerful) and omniscient (all knowing).  Jesus was still fully Divine but also human.  

Jesus said, "I can do nothing on my own accord, only what the Father tells me."  (John 5:19).  Jesus also said that even He did not know what day He was coming back and that only God knows that date.  (Mark 13:32).

With this background, let's make some sense out of this.  Two important events should help us.  The first is what is referred to as, "The Great Commission."  Jesus proclaimed that we are to, "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."  (Matthew 28:19-20).

The second event is found in Luke 9:1-2, "Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases.  He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick." This was their first mission.

I believe this means that part of our job as Christians is to change lives by healing the sick and casting out evil.  How do we really do this?  By proclaiming the name of Jesus through His authority and by the power of the Holy Spirit.  

The authority comes from Jesus which He stated in Matthew 28:18:  "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth."  Jesus commissions us with that authority in His name.  That is why we typically end prayers by saying in the name of Jesus.  That is what gives the prayer authority.  It can't be in the name of Pastor Al, e.g., but in the name of Jesus who has all authority.  

The power of the Holy Spirit.  The Greek word for power here is dunamis.  We get the english word dynamite from it.  It is the very essence of God and this power is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.  Jesus told His disciples to stay in the upper room and don't do anything until they received the, "Promise," which would be the power (dunamis) of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus knew that without the power of the Holy Spirit that the disciples would not be able to do anything.  Jesus then ascended into heaven.  

The disciples waited 10 days in the upper room before they received the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost (Acts 2:1-4).  Jesus was on the earth for 40 days following His resurrection.  Pentecost means 50.  Subtract 40 from 50 and you have 10.

Now the disciples had the authority and the power to change lives.  So, how do we do that?  We do it through obedience to God.  For example, if your grandchild had a fever or headache, you would place your hand on his or her head and simply pray, "Dear Lord, please heal my grandchild of his illness and I ask it in the name of Jesus Christ."  You would get no credit if he or she got better nor would you receive any blame if nothing happened.  It's not about you.  It is through the power of the Holy Spirit, and not your personal power, that is going to be doing the healing.  However, your job is to be obedient.  

Our primary faith belief is that healing will happen through the Holy Spirit in the authority and name of Jesus.  This is our faith belief.  However, there are clearly times when, for whatever reason, God does not grant the healing.  Two very big examples can be highlighted.  The first is Paul the Apostle.  In II Corinthians 12:8, Paul petitions the Lord to heal Him three times but his prayer is denied.  The second big example is seen in Luke 22:42, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away form Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

We change lives by being obedient to the will of God.  Sometimes, just a hug to someone who needs one; a telephone call to see how one is doing; and even just a smile.  

I believe our primary job is to be obedient to the will of God, just as Jesus was.  We get no glory nor blame for whatever happens.  It is not about us.  It is always about the Lord.  The final authority of what happens, when we put our faith in action by doing something, is always God.  

Thus, if I pray for someone to get well, I am doing everything God wants me to do.  I have great faith that my prayer will be answered; however, the outcome is not my responsibility.  My responsibility is to just do it.  God will make the final decision and it is always in His hands.  As Jesus said, when He prayed to His Father to "take this cup away from Me" (going to the cross), Jesus said, ". . . nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."

We change lives by being obedient to God and having the faith to put our belief in action by proclaiming the name of Jesus through the authority He has given us and the power of the Holy Spirit.  

What Do Women Really Want From Men?

Having the privilege of listening to women reveal their struggles and dreams over the past forty years as a clinical psychologist, and also guarded legally by "privileged communication," I would like to offer a few of my personal and professional insights from the many women who have taught me what they really want from a man.   

Always a difficult subject to target because the age range of women create different criteria.  There is a difference between young women, middle aged women, and elderly women, in their thoughts and desires about what they want from men.  

I will try to make some type of composite of the three age groups.   What is it that a mature woman really wants from a man?  I believe she wants a man, "who can be vulnerable without being defensive."

So what does that mean?  

Let's answer it with a question.  What is it like to be a man in America?  You may recall this song by Whitesnake:  "Here I Go Again."

"An' here I go again on my own

Goin' down the only road I've ever known,

Like a hobo I was born to walk alone

'Cause I know what it means 

To walk along the lonely street of dreams."

The typical man was reared to be strong and not vulnerable.  To be strong was culturally indoctrinated at a young age.  If you fell off your bicycle, the first question your buddies asked was, "Did you cry?"

I, personally, have always had three rules in my life that I have successfully and faithfully kept.  Three rules that, for better or worse, I still try to keep which shows how very strong this cultural indoctrination was instilled in me.  Rule #1:  "Don't cry.  Rule #2:  Don't cry, and Rule #3:  Don't cry." (Nothing to be proud of.)

An American tragedy is that men have traditionally equated vulnerability with weakness and even shame.  As a result, men have typically kept women at bay by not revealing the very substance of deep, emotional love.  Superficial love with the emphasis on sexual fulfillment has been the result, leaving an emptiness in many women. 

Brene Brown, in her book titled, "Daring Greatly,"  describes vulnerability as not a weakness, but rather the courage to engage another human being and dare to, ". . . show up and let ourselves be seen."  To connect with another human being is what love is about.  That requires courage to take the risk of being hurt or even rejected in the process, but the other option of playing safe and not taking risks, leads to disconnection, and a lack of meaning and purpose in our life.  

Vulnerability, the act of letting the object of your love know what is truly in your heart; the good, the bad, and the ugly, is the very heart and core of the human experience of emotional connection.  For the mature woman, if the man in your life refuses to have the courage to be vulnerable, you may end up wondering who this man really is.  Do you really know him?  Does he really know himself?  

When a man sees vulnerability as weakness and shame and walks away from it for fear that she will lose respect for him, he is walking away from the very thing that gives meaning and purpose to our life.  It is the American tragedy of what men struggle with.  Men have it backwards, but they don't know it.  The mature woman does not lose respect for the man who has the courage to dare to be vulnerable, but rather gains respect, admiration, and love.  

To be very clear, vulnerability means taking a risk.  To love means taking a risk.  It leaves us emotionally exposed.  We can certainly get hurt, and hurt deeply.  However, what is the other option?  A relationship that is mediocre at best?  

The second half of the statement of what mature women want:  ". . . without being defensive,"  is also very important.  It requires the object of your love to listen and not try to change the subject, e.g., "I was disappointed when you didn't take time to listen to me when I told you how hurt I was about what your mother said about how I took care of little Bobby."  The man than saying, "What about the time you mother did the same thing?"  Being defensive prevents the problem from ever being resolved.  To listen and try to understand what is being said without feeling attacked and defending your position is critical to a great relationship.

Perhaps the best advice I can ever give a couple is this.  "Adore each other.  Resolve anger before it builds walls and pushes the love out." Great relationships revolve around this concept to adore each other.  That's another article for the future.  For now, focus on being vulnerable.  It's what gives meaning and purpose to our life.  

  

Does Time Really Fly By As We Get Older?

If you were to ask people this question, the answer you would get from most people would be “Yes it does.”  Although the vast majority of people would agree, and everyone means well, they would all be wrong.  Time does not fly by as we get older.  It only seems that way.  Obviously, just getting older does not give us the power to disrupt the time-space continuum; however, why do we think we can?  

Psychologists have summarized five theories:

Theory number 1:  We gauge time by memorable events, e.g., first kiss, first day of school, etc.  As we grow older we have fewer new experiences. 

   

Theory number 2:  The amount of time passed is relative to one’s age.  For instance, for a 5-year old, one year is 20% of their entire life.  For a 50-year old, however, one year is only 2% of their life.

Theory number 3:  Our biological clock slows as we age by some type of internal pacemaker, whereas the external time just appears to go by more quickly. 

Theory number 4:  As we age we pay less attention to time; e.g., when you are a kid you count down the days until Santa brings you some cool stuff.

As an adult we get involved with paying bills, child care, etc., and the more attention we pay to these somewhat boring adult things the less we notice time slipping by.

Theory number 5:  Stress, stress, stress.  The feeling of not enough time to get things done seems to take over our personal time clock.

As human beings, we think of time as chronological.  God does not. The book of Revelation tells us in 22:13 these words from our Lord:  “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.”  Jesus is telling us that since He is the beginning and the ending that He encompasses all of eternity and all of time.  Jesus also tells us these words, “Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last, I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore.  Amen. “  So - slow down.  Smell the roses.  You will be with the Lord for all eternity.  

Independence Day

On July 4th, we celebrate Independence Day.  It is commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776.  The purpose was to declare independence from the oppression of Great Britain.  

There was a Committee of Five who tried to explain the Declaration of Independence.  Thomas Jefferson was the principle author of this venture.  Congress finally approved it on July 4th.

Interestingly, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the only signers of the Declaration of Independence who went on to become Presidents of the United States both died on July 4th, five hours apart, in 1826, which was the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.  

Another Founding Father, who did not sign the Declaration of Independence, who became President was James Monroe and he died on July 4th, 1831.  He became the third president in a row who died on July 4th.  

The Bible also presents us with a personal declaration of independence from our sins.  Isaiah 43:25, gives to us these precious words from God.  “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake.  And I will not remember your sins.”

I believe what this means is that whatever it was that you did or did not do, if you go to God in prayer with a repentant heart, that God will not only forgive you, but that God will wipe the slate clean as if it never even happened.  For those who worry about their salvation due to something they did in their past - these words tell us how much God loves us.  God wants to liberate us from the prison of our minds and set us free.  This is our declaration of independence and the assurance of our salvation by believing that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God.  By repenting of our sins and taking Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  Happy Independence Day.  

Addictions

Five hundred people die of addictions every hour in America, at a cost of 600 billion dollars a year.  There are drug addictions such as alcohol, cocaine, morphine, etc.  There are behavioral addictions such as gambling, junk food, pornography, and video games.  

All addictions hijack the reward center of the brain.  The reward center is composed of three areas:  the nucleus accumbens, the ventral tegmental area, and the prefrontal cortex.  

The key neurotransmitter is dopamine, which when released causes extreme craving for the drug or behavior.  

Caffeine and nicotine are two of the most widely used psychoactive drugs in the world.  Billions of people throughout the world use them every day.  

Junk food is a behavioral addiction.  Two thirds of Americans are overweight and one third are obese.  Pornography is a multi-billion dollar enterprise which is approaching one third of the internet.  Video games are also very addictive.  Grand Theft Auto 5 made five billion dollars in the first three days of its release.  That is five times greater than any movie made in history.  

To make matters even worse, 100 million Americans are suffering from chronic pain.  Time Magazine in its June 15, 2015, cover announced that America is now in an epidemic of pain pill addiction that is out of control.  These particular drugs are called opioids which relieve pain and have a chemical structure very close to heroin.  Examples are Vicodin, Demerol, Opana, Oxycontin, Percocet, etc.  

Time reported that of the 9.4 million Americans taking opioids for chronic pain, 2.1 million are addicted.  An average of 46 Americans died daily from prescription overdose.  

Every state in America, except one, has a prescription monitoring program which makes it more difficult to get multiple prescriptions from many doctors.  That state is Missouri.

When you are addicted it is like the Eagles greatest album, "The Hotel California."  You can check in but you can never leave.  In order to leave you are going to have to slay the beast that lives there.  (I will take a little poetic license to illustrate my point.)  The beast is whatever the addiction you may have, and all God's children got addictions.  You have to be a Sir Lancelot or a Joan of Arc.  You have to be brave and courageous.   

In the book, "Tigers In The Dark," the author tells of various stories of courage.  In this particular story a tiger trainer is being televised walking into a large cage where he will command rows of Bengal tigers weighing up to 600 pounds with a chair and a whip.  This was years ago when TV was live and shown as it was actually happening.  Midway through his performance there was a power failure.  The audience and TV watchers gasped.  For almost half a minute the tiger trainer was completely in the dark with the tigers, and tigers can see very well in the dark.  During what seemed a long time the audience could still hear the trainer talk and crack the ship.  The lights came on and he was safe.  Afterwards, the TV host asked him how he made it out alive.  The tiger trainer said he knew that tigers can see very well in the dark, but the tigers did not know that he could not see in the dark.  The tiger trainer did not focus on his fears but rather his courage and kept cracking his whip and talking as if nothing had happened.  This is the courage we must have.  We have to focus on our courage and not our fears.  

There will be relapses but we have to pick ourselves up and keep trying.  As Michael Corleone said, "Just when I thought I was out - they keep pulling me back in."  

The Apostle Paul in the seventh chapter of Romans reveals that at times he doesn't do the things he should do and does the things that he shouldn't do.  He then wails, "Who will save me from this body of death?"  He didn't say, what will save me - such as a 12 step program (which is good) but rather - who will save me?  The answer is Jesus Christ.  The very name of Jesus means One who will save.  We have within us the power of the Holy Spirit.  That power is dunamis (we get the English word dynamite) which is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.  We have the power to overcome any addiction with the help of Jesus Christ.

John 3:16 is not just one of the favorite verses in the Bible, it is also the definition of the Gospel.  It begins, "For God so loved the world."  It didn't say, "For God so loved only the good people in the world."  The church is for the lost.  When Jesus talked of watching over 100 sheep and one was missing - He went after that lost sheep.  Jesus cares about that addicted person many people would just as soon get rid of.  The Bible says that we can withstand temptation if we can rely on Him.  When our backs are to the wall, He will send us an angel and angels always appear in human form.  The definition of an angel is one sent by God.  God can use you as an angel to help the lost.  You can be an angel and change lives if you wish.  The job description of a Christian is not very long.  It is in fact very short.  Our job description is "To change lives."  

You can be a light in a sea of darkness.  You can be an angel to someone who needs you.  To let the Word go forth.  The world needs you, and the world needs you now.  

Salute To High School Graduates

When I graduated from high school I got a call from my uncle who lived in a fairly large city.  He wanted me to come stay with him for the summer and he already had a well paying job all set up for me.  When I asked him what it entailed, he said, “All you have to do is ride shotgun on the truck and tell the workers where and when to spread oil on the roads.  It pays $10 an hour.”  I thought about that for about five seconds and told my uncle, “Gee.  Thanks a lot Uncle Del, but I already have a job lined up for the summer.”  I hung up the phone and then went out an got a job at a hamburger stand for $1.00 an hour.  

What happened?  I was afraid I would fail.  As a result, instead of making a lot of money in the summer to help me pay for college, I played it safe and made very little.  The bottom line is this:  I lacked confidence in myself.

How do we develop confidence?  Much of this comes with life experience; however, the Bible gives us the answer that we need.  The Apostle Paul, in Philippians 4:13 gives us this advice:  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  

When we find ourselves facing tough decisions on what to do in life, take time to pray about it and ask Christ to guide you to make the right decision, and then to give you strength and confidence to do it. 

You are not alone.  God will help you.  May God give you the courage and confidence to go forth and  make a difference in the world.

What Is Maundy Thursday?

What is Maundy Thursday and why do churches celebrate it?

Maundy Thursday is also known as,  "Holy Thursday."  It is the day before Good Friday.  Good Friday is the day before Easter.  All of this happens during, "Holy Week," which is the last week of the life of Jesus.  

Maundy Thursday commemorates what we refer to as, "The Last Supper."  Jesus shared the "Passover Meal" on the night before He was crucified.  The "Passover Meal" refers to the celebration of all Jews who remember when Moses led the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and eventually into the promised land of Caanan.  In response to the last of 10 plagues in which the "destroyer," would kill the first born child, the Israelites were told that if they would place blood on the door post, the "destroyer," would pass over them and no blood would be shed.  Thus the term, "Passover."

 Jesus sat at the able with His 12 apostles.  One would betray Him, and that was Judas.  One would deny Him, and that was Peter.  The other ten fled for fear of their life.  During this time, the Bible records that the Lord Jesus on the night when He was betrayed took bread, and when He had given thanks He broke it and said, "This is my body which is given to you.  Eat this as often as you do in remembrance of Me."  In the same manner, He took the cup and said, "This is the New Covenant in My blood.  Drink this as often as you do in remembrance of Me."  Thus, this has become how the Church celebrates that occassion by referring to it as, "Communion," the "Eucharist," or simply the, "Lord's Supper."

The word, "Maundy," comes from the Latin word for, "command." This word used on Maundy Thursday refers to the command that Jesus gave to His apostles and disciples that they should love one another.  

If everyone in the world observed this command, what a wonderful world we would have.  

Memory Enhancement

And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment. 

Hebrews 9:27

We apparently have no choice about when God has made this appointment; however, we do have a choice about our quality of life before that time comes.  

Our genes determine 25% of what happens to us.  That leaves 75% to determine the life style changes we can make to change our life.  

In the latest research from Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, the following eight variables will clearly help in developing appropriate and healthy life style changes we all need to make.

1  Get regular exercise which is your best memory booster.  

2  Protect your heart and your brain.  Try to lower your blood pressure.

3  Get a good night’s sleep every night.  Try to get 7 hours if you can.

4  Eat a diet that builds “brain health.”

5  Be aware of alcohol consumption.

6  Be aware of certain medications that may impact memory.

7  Keep your mind sharp with mental activities.

8  Try to manage stress effectively.

What Is Lent?

You hear people talking about lent this time of the year in many churches but just what is lent all about?  What does it mean?

The word, "lent," comes from the Anglo-Saxon word, "lencten," which basically means the time of the year when the days grown longer.

Lent officially begins on Ash Wednesday and continues for 40 days until finishing up on Easter.  If you took a calculator and tried to figure out the 40 days you would come up with the wrong figure.  You have to subtract every Sunday because each Sunday is considered to be a "miniature Easter."  Thus, you calculate the 40 days minus Sundays.

Lent has its origins somewhere between the 6th and 8th century.  Originally, the idea was that a Christian, as a sign of repentance, would sprinkle ashes on his or her head.  In the Bible, ashes symbolize humility, mortality, fasting and remorse.  A person who sinned and felt remorse would sprinkle ashes on their head as a sign of repentance and sorrow.  

Ashes reminds us that we are mortal and eventually we will die.  At gravesite services, the pastor will usually say something in regard to dust to dust and ashes to ashes.  

Over time, instead of sprinkling ashes on a person's head, the ashes were instead rubbed into the forehead in the shape of a cross as a reminder of repentance and baptism.  Eventually, many churches gave up this practice.  The importance is what goes on in your heart.  

Why does it consist of 40 days?  That is because after Jesus was baptized, the Bible tells us that Jesus went into the wilderness to fast and to experience being tempted by the devil throughout this 40 day period.  

During the 40 days of Lent, we are think about our own troubles and temptations we go through and repent.  It is a time for us to receive God's forgiveness and to receive the power of the Holy Spirit  to give us strength and spiritual renewal to lead the Christian Life.  

Does Time Really Heal All Wounds?

Does time heal?  For some people it may indeed be true.  Some people swear by it.  

However, I believe that time heals nothing.  We learn to accept that which we cannot change.  

How long does it take to accept?  Six months, one year, three years?  

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was a Swiss Psychiatrist who wrote a very well known book in 1969, called "On Death and Dying." In the book she outlined five stages that people go through when they go through the process of death.  

Stage one:  Denial - Reality is hard to face and the first reaction is generally denial that this could actually be happening.  "There must be some mistake, doctors missed something."

Stage two:  Anger - Once denial can no longer be used as a defense, anger comes in, "why is this happening to me?  It's not fair.  How could God let this happen?"

Stage three:  Bargaining - There is still hope that somehow the individual can overcome this.  "Let me live God and I'll serve you forever."  

Stage four:  Depression - When the person eventually realizes that denial and bargaining is not going to work they begin to understand the certainty of death.  "I'm so sad, why do anything.  I'm going to die soon so what is the point?"

Stage five:  Acceptance - Individuals finally come to grips with their mortality.  "It's going to be okay.  I can't fight it so I might as well prepare for it.

Later Dr. Kubler Ross, through further research, expanded these five stages to include not just death, but also all traumas.  

The question that I would like for you, as you read this, to try and come to terms with is this:  "How long is it going to take between depression and acceptance?"  Six months, one year, three years, ten years?  

In order to heal anything we first have to understand it.  Healing and curing are two different things.  Curing is a medical term.  Healing is a spiritual term and it is an active process.  It is not a passive one.  As Americans, we do not always want to make the effort to get better, rather we just want to feel better now.  Feeling better is a passive process,via drugs, trying to block things out of our mind, refusing to talk about it, etc.  Getting better is an active process where we participate in the healing process.  If you are waiting for time to do its work, you are going to be in for a very long wait.  

When I was a little boy I would sometimes cut myself.  My mother would always give me a lecture first on why I should be more careful.  She then would take water and soap and clean the wound carefully.  She would put some type of salve on it and then apply a band aid.  

What would happen if she didn't clean the wound?  It might taken longer, could cause an infection, but it would eventually close and likely leave a scar. 

When we experience a wound to our heart, or our soul, it feels like being torn apart.  Sometimes it even feels like we are bleeding inside.  Eventually, the bleeding will stop and the wound closes.  However, what is it we have closed up?  Have we truly healed the wound or have we simply closed up anger, hurt, regret, and remorse inside?  If we have not healed the wound, some people will experience "weeping wounds" which doctors and nurses describe as a wound that doesn't heal because of some type of noxious fluids that fester and ooze out.  How many weeping wounds can a person suffer before their whole system is contaminated.  

The Greek word for "trauma" is wound.  A wound that is not healed will fester.  Almost all philosophers believe we will die without ever healing our wounds.  

The Bee Gees believed that you cannot mend a broken heart.  You can't stop the rain from falling and you can't stop the sun from shining.  Dolly Parton sings Silver threads and golden needles can't mend a broken heart.  They are all probably right.  We may not be able to mend a broken heart but God can.  

The 23rd Psalm provides us with some answers.  Look at the first three verses: 

"The Lord is my shepherd.  I shall not want.  He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.  He restores my soul."

How does God restore our soul?  He makes us lie down in green pastures.  Green pastures refers to the bread of life which is Jesus Christ.  He leads us beside the still waters.  Still waters is the opposite of troubled waters.  He restores our soul.

God knows we go through troubled times and become anxious and depressed but God also wants us to be restored to a life of joy.  He wants us to slow down and know that He is with us.  He wants us to allow Jesus to touch and heal every hurt and wound that we may have closed up rather than allowed to heal.  

In ancient times, healing meant to be whole, which meant that if a person became sick they would not be whole anymore.  Something has happened that has broken our wholeness and disease has come into our body.  Something will have to be done, actively not passively, as time has nothing to do with healing.  

In pain management, you are taught to relax your muscles or wherever the pain is.  If you tighten up, the pain will obviously get worse the more you resist it.  Allow the pain to be present.  When you breathe deeply and become more aware of the pain, there is room for it to move and flow through you more easily.  Pain is there to tell us something is wrong whether it is physical, emotional, psychological, or spiritual.  To become whole, means being open to our pain and our losses.  We include those things that would have been forever lost and not recognized as needing to be healed if we had not taken the time to heal.  One of my favorite singers is Carly Simon who touches on this with her wonderful song, "There's More Room In A Broken Heart."  

Time does not heal.  However, healing does take some time.  Let God help you through the process.  That's one of the things He does best.  

Stuck In LoDebar

In 1969, Creedence Clearwater Revival released the "Green River" album.  One of the songs on that album was called, "Lodi."  It was written by John Fogerty and was one of the most popular songs Creedence Clearwater Revival ever performed that never made it to the Top 40.  It was also on the "B" side of the single, "Bad Moon Rising."  The reason the group loved this song so much was because of how much they hated being stuck in Lodi.  The first part of the lyrics give us a good idea what they meant.  

          "Just about a year ago, I set out on the road.
           Seekin' my fame and fortune, looking' for a pot of gold.
           Things got bad, and things got worse, I guess you will
           know the tune.
           Oh!  Lord, stuck in Lodi again."

In the 9th chapter of II Samuel, is the story of LoDebar.  LoDebar

is a place you might call between nowhere and goodby.  It literally

means, "The land of nothing."  A land of low hopes and shattered

dreams.  A place you can go to hide and no one will know you are

even alive.  

David's best friend was Jonathan.  Jonathan knew that his father, King Saul, was going to try and kill David and that things were going to get ugly.  Thus, they made a covenant with each other that no matter what happened they would always be friends and that their families would be taken care of.  Not much later, King Saul and Jonathan were killed and the house of Saul was terrified that David would destroy all of King Saul's family members.  A nurse taking care of Jonathan's five year old son, Mephibosheth, tried to run and hide but fell and dropped him.  His legs were broken and paralyzed.  The boy was taken to a place that no one who would look for him.  LoDebar.

Years passed by and David remembered the covenant he made with Jonathan and discovers that he has a crippled son.  He sends for the boy and when Mephibosheth is brought to him he falls on his face.  David asks him, "Are you the son of my good friend Jonathan?"  When he says, "yes," he is asked to get up.  David tells the boy he is not going to hurt him but rather is going to restore to him all the land of his grandfather, King Saul, and that he will eat at David's table all the days of his life.  Mephibosheth looks at David and says, "Why should my king look upon such a dead dog as me?"

Have you ever felt worthless?  Believing to be of no value?  Are you stuck in LoDebar?  Do you have lost hopes and shattered dreams?  Mephibosheth believed he was less than worthless, less than a dead dog.  When you are crippled physically or emotionally and have no dreams; when you have nothing, there's nothing to lose.  You're stuck in LoDebar.  But now Mephibosheth is in the presence of the king.  

God invites you to sit at His table today.  To come out of the wilderness.  To come out of LoDebar and sit at His table.  There is nothing that has happened to us in this life that cannot be healed by our great King, the King of Kings.  Open up your heart and come to His table.  Don't stay stuck.  Come out of LoDebar.  

When A Child Dies

What happens when a child dies?  What happens when you and many others pray for God to save your child and your child still dies?  How do you deal with that?  Do you lose your faith?  Does your faith become stronger?  What happens? 

The Bible gives us answers to these questions.  The Bible tells us the story of David.  David is described as a "man after God's own heart."  God loved David very much.  The first child that David had with Bathsheba became gravely ill.  The Bible says that, "David pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground."  

David's servants tried to get him up from the ground and feed him but David refused.  David is so upset that his servants are afraid that David will do something to himself.  For seven days, David pleads with God to save his son.  On the seventh day, the child dies and the servants are afraid to tell David.  

However, David overhears the servants talking and perceives that his child was dead, and asks them if the child died and they said yes.  David then rose from the ground, washed up, worshipped God, and requested food to eat.  The servants are totally confused.  They said to David, "You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food."  

David told the servants, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live.'  "But now he is dead; why should I fast?  Can I bring him back again?  I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

What David is saying is this:  When our loved one dies, whether it be a baby, sibling, parent, grandparent, that it's ok if God did not grant us our prayer that they would live.  We will go to them when it is our time.  We will see them again in the next life.  Not to worry.  We'll see them again.  Amen.