The Five Regrets of Dying

     In 2009, an Australian palliative nurse named Bonnie Ware wrote an article on her blog describing the biggest regrets of the terminally ill patients she had taken care of during her eights years as a care giver.  She had no idea that more than six and a half million people would read it.  She titled it:  “The Five Regrets of the Dying.”

1.   “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

      This was the most common regret of all.  Instead of living the life they really wanted, they waited too long and more than half of their dreams were never realized.  

2.    “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

       This was said by almost every man as they regretted missing their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.

3.   “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

        Most said they kept their feelings to themselves to keep the peace with others.  Many developed illnesses related to bitterness and resentment.  

4.    “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

     Many had become so caught up in their lives they lost track of their friends.  They deeply regretted not giving friendships time and effort.  

5.    “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

        Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.  They stayed stuck in their old patterns and habits and life literally passed them by.  Now it was too late.

       Does this list look familiar in your life?  Do you ever say, "One day I'm going to do __________.  Are you making the most of the life God has given to you?  Like an earthly father, God wants His children to be faithful, but also happy.  God loves you and wants to bless you; however, God cannot steer a parked car.  Happiness is truly a choice.  Now, it's your turn.  It's not too late.  May god's love be with you. 

No Doubt About It

        Do you ever doubt yourself?  When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  Do you like what you see?  Is there anything you would like to change?  What would it take to make you satisfied with the person in the mirror?

How about on the inside?  Do you ever doubt who you really are?  Do you lack confidence in yourself?  Do you feel you are just not good enough?  

The seeds of doubt are all around us.  We see the beautiful and the strong on TV and consciously and unconsciously, we compare ourselves to what we envision we should be.  They rob us of our joy in life, if we let them into our head.  

If you can remember playing organized sports, you may recall that the opposing team did not compliment you.  Instead, they wanted to get into your head and convince you that you were not good enough to win.  Arnold Schwarzenegger was a master at getting into an opponents head, e.g., at a Mr. Olympia contest he would say to a fellow competitor, “Lou.  You look great!  But your calves might need a little more work.”  That was just enough to plant a little seed of doubt in Lou’s head which gave Arnold the advantage he needed to win.  During a jury trial, a defense attorney is trying to plant the seeds of doubt.  He or she knows that if the seed of doubt can be planted in just one of the jurors, the outcome will be successful. 

So, how do we get the seeds of doubt out of our head?  That is the question that a father was struggling with as seen in the 24th verse of the ninth chapter of Mark.  The disciples could not heal a boy who was suffering from epilepsy and an evil spirit. The father pleaded with Jesus to heal his son.  Jesus said, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”  The father cried and said, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.”  When Jesus healed the boy, His disciples asked Him why they couldn’t do it.  Jesus told them, “This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.”

When we develop a close relationship with the Lord, by reading His Word daily and praying when the seeds of doubt try to overwhelm us, and focus entirely on Jesus rather than the problem, we can prevent the seeds of doubt from taking up root in our life.  Jesus tells us this will work.  No doubt about it.

What Happens To Us When We Die?

The Apostle Paul says these words in II Corinthians 5:8:" . . . absent from the body . . . present with the Lord."

As we grow older, most people throughout the world begin to seriously reflect on what they have or haven't done with their lives. They think of many things, but one thought everyone has in common in this:  "What is going to happen to me when I die?"  Physicists have demonstrated that when a human being dies, an energy force leaves the body.  That energy force can be measured but scientists do not know where it goes.  Energy cannot be destroyed so it remains a mystery in the scientific world.  As Christians, we believe that energy force that leaves the body is our soul or spirit.

As Christians, we are responsible for what we know, and the Lord tells us that we are to be obedient to His Word; however, we are not to judge others, as seen in Matthew 7:1, "Judge not, that you be not judged."  We do not know what is in another person's heart.  Consider the following question:

Who was the first person to go to heaven according to the New Testament?  

The thief on the cross is the answer.  It was a criminal.  Heaven is not for everyone, and this criminal suddenly discovered the truth about why Christ died on the cross.  He saw the reality of what was unfolding before his eyes, being in the very presence of the One who held the keys to life ever lasting.  At that moment, the criminal made a confession of faith.  There were two criminals being crucified with Christ.  One on His left and one on his right.  One criminal shouted, "If you are the Christ, save Yourself and us."  The "thief" rebuked him and said, "Do you not even fear God . . . we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong."  The he said to Jesus, "Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom."

The thief on the cross made a confession of faith.  He called Jesus Lord, repented of his sins, and asked to follow Him.  Jesus saw the man's heart and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise."  

There is only one message about this story.  God loves you and Christ died to forgive you of your sins and provide a place in heaven if you will accept it as a free gift.  That is the only message there is.  We will spend eternity in heaven with God for one reason and one reason only.  It will not be because we were good, bad or indifferent.  It will happen because we put our trust in Jesus Christ, and Him alone, for our salvation. 

When a Child Dies

One of the most difficult things in life to deal with is the death of a child.  In the Oscar-winning film “Roma,” the most gut wrenching moment takes place in a Mexico city hospital room when a doctor walks in and says to a frightened young woman, “Your baby was born dead,” and then walks away.  That haunting scene, which took place in 1971, graphically illustrates a situation that is still poorly understood and often times avoided.  

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), a stillbirth is the death or loss of a baby before or during delivery.  A miscarriage is defined as the loss of a baby before the 20th week of pregnancy, whereas a stillbirth is the loss of a baby after 20 weeks of pregnancy.  Stillbirth affects about 1% of all pregnancies, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States.  According to the Mayo Clinic, the rate of miscarriage is 10-20% of all known pregnancies.  It is difficult to get a more precise number because many miscarriages occur so early in pregnancy that a woman may not even know she is pregnant.  

In either case, the loss of a child is emotionally devastating.  Emotional healing is going to take longer than physical healing.  It is a heart-wrenching loss that others around you may not fully understand and in some cases, may try to avoid discussing.  Your emotions may range from anger and guilt to despair.  You will never forget your hopes and dreams surrounding your pregnancy; however, discussing it with an experienced and well trained professional or seeking a group experience such as Compassionate Friends, will help ease the pain until a certain level of acceptance is obtained.  The Bible can also be a source of hope.

The death of David’s son, as seen in II Samuel 12:15-23, may give you some hope.  David was a “man after God’s own heart.”  God loved David deeply; however, David had an affair with Bathsheba.  After his child was born, it became ill.  The Bible tells us that David then fasted and lay all night on the ground.  For seven days he pleaded with God to save his child.  Some of his friends went to David and tried to get him to get up from the ground and eat.  But he would not do it nor would he eat.  On the 7th day, the child died.  His servants were afraid to tell David for fear he might hurt himself.  David heard his servants whispering, and asked, “Is the child dead?”  They told him the child was dead.  At that point, David stood up, changed his clothes, went into his house and asked for food to be served, and he ate.  The servants were shocked by his behavior and said, “What is this that you have done?  You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food.”  David then said these words to his servants, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’  “But now he is dead; why should I fast?  Can I bring him back again?  I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”

What David is saying is that his child will not return to him while he is alive on earth, but that he will see his child again in heaven.  May this provide some comfort, because all children will be in heaven, and you will see your child again.  

Facing Our Fears

Max Lucado recently shared a frightening moment in his life in which, like so many of us, he developed the beginning of a physical problem he just didn’t want to face. He related that ten years ago he noticed what looked and felt like a tremor in his thumb which started quivering mysteriously. He revealed that his father died from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS, aka, Lou Gehrig’s Disease which is a progressive degeneration of nerve cells that control motor movement and ends in death) and he assumed the worse. Did he inherit the same horribly slow death as his father?

Max said his golf game suffered because of the tremor and, “If I raised my left hand to make a point in a sermon, all I could see was a twitchy thumb.” He remembered one of the last messages he received from his father was, “I have no fear of death or eternity.” He thought to himself why he didn’t have that same faith. After all, he was a minister who preached to others that the Lord is with you. Yet, he was too afraid of going to the doctor for fear that he would be told that he would die. It was just too scary. However, enough was enough and he summoned all the courage he could muster an went to the doctor who checked him out thoroughly, from his walk and his reflexes to his balance. When the doctor finished the examination, Max was almost overcome while waiting for the doctor to, “deliver the death sentence.” Finally, the doctor said, “No need to worry. You’re okay. The tremor in your thumb is nothing to worry about. I promise.”

Last winter I developed a bad cold and had trouble breathing. I went to Urgent Care and the doctor wrote out a prescription for medicine. She noticed that I was behaving rather strange and I told her my father had died of lung cancer. She said, “Do you want a chest x-ray?” I didn’t know what to say at first and almost said no but stopped myself and said, “Yes. But if it is bad - don’t tell me.” She had the nurse escort me back to the x-ray department and then back to the waiting room. When I was told that the X-ray was clear. I said, “Really. Promise? Not just saying that?” She nodded yes.

Only a doctor would be able to convince me I was not going to die like my father. So it is with the promises of God. Unlike Max’s thumb and my coughing, the promises of God are undeniable and unbroken. What I learned from my experience is that with the promises of God, we must face our fears in life. Whatever those fears may be. We all know those who have waited too long to face their fear and it was too late for them. God wants us to be at peace and come to him with our fears and He will give us the comfort that only God can give us. To God be all the glory. Amen and amen.

New Year 2019

The New Year is here.  What will 2019 bring?  Will you have any control over what is going to happen to you?  Will you make any changes, or will the years keep rolling along?  For young people, the new year represents continued growth in practically every avenue.  However, that is not necessarily true for older people.  Therefore, I would like to address this month’s column to the more mature among us.  Those approaching, or who are in retirement.  The great philosopher, Clint Eastwood, has these words for us:  “A man’s got to know his limitations.”

For most of our adult lives, especially for men, we are defined by what we do and how we did it.  There was typically a clear purpose involving being a provider and taking care of the family.  For women, her role as mother was also typically defined as a homemaker, and sometimes being a financial provider as well.  (Today those models are rapidly changing for younger generations.)  

For both men and women, after retirement, comes the question, “What do I do with the rest of my life?  Life expectancy is now greater than ever expected.  It is not unusual anymore for people to live to 100.  So, how do you approach this new chapter in your life?  The emotional component of change is now real.  You will now be challenged to develop a new purpose in your life.  People who have a sense of purpose live longer than those who don’t.  In a recent study involving 136,000 people, with an average age of 67, evaluating the relationship between having a purpose in life and the risk of death or cardiovascular disease, were followed for seven years.   The risk of death was 20% lower for those who had a clear sense of purpose.  They also had a lower risk of heart attack or stroke.  

So, how do you develop a new purpose in life?  First, realize that a new life purpose is about pursuing goals and interests, and hopefully an opportunity for adventure and discovery.  Here are a few ideas to explore.  Look back at the things you used to be interested in during your younger years.  What did you enjoy doing then?  Perhaps learning a new musical instrument, going to college, volunteering, learning new skills like public speaking, cooking, or small engine repair.  Whatever it is, pursue it with focus and passion.  

Breathe Properly To Stay Calm and Deadly Focused

Proper breathing will put your body in harmony, increasing blood flow and also serotonin and dopamine levels.  To slow down and control the chatter in your head, repeat a mantra, e.g., I say the word, “steady” in competition pistol shooting when I must remain totally focused and calm.  

Let’s begin:

Start by taking a deep breath into your nose.  Focus on breathing into your stomach.  Then exhale all of the oxygen out of your body.  Do this two or three times to prepare yourself.

Now, focus on breathing in deeply for four seconds, and hold for four seconds.  Then breathe out for four seconds and hold for four seconds.

Do this several times or until you feel your body is in harmony again. Your lungs, the hemispheres of your brain, your entire body must be in harmony to function properly.  This will reboot your system to achieve that harmony.

Do not let the simplicity of this breathing exercise fool you.  The reason is based on Nobel Prize winning research.  When you breathe into your nose you are increasing the nitric oxide levels in your blood stream.  Basically, it increases your blood flow and lowers your blood pressure.  

You can even make it better if you wish by humming when you are exhaling.  Humming oscillates the air while you are breathing which greatly increases the level of nitric oxide levels into your blood stream.  

Note:  Dr. Louis J. Ignarro won the Nobel Prize in medicine in 1998 for the discovery of the importance of nitric oxide to the cardiovascular system for increasing blood flow.  He is also considered the Father of Viagra.  

Accepting The Gift

I will always remember the day that three distant cousins of Reva came to say their last goodby’s.  It was a sunny day in July of 2014.  I had never met them before.  When they rang the door bell, I invited them in and they hugged Reva.  I could see the shocked look on each face as they saw how very thin she now was.  Reva had been giving family members special gifts as they came by.  It made her happy during her last days.  When they were getting ready to leave, Reva said, “I have something special for you to have.”  She wasn’t able to move from her cushioned chair  and said, “Allen.  Will you bring those three angel vases to me.”  These were three of her favorite vases.  I gathered them up and gently gave them to her.  I could see she was excited to give each of them a present.  

But then the unexpected happened.  As she painfully reached out to give the angels to them, the oldest cousin looked at them and said, “Oh no, that’s okay Reva.  We really don’t need them.  Give them to someone else.”

I ushered them out the door as they said their hurried goodby’s.  I looked at Reva, and she had tears rolling down her cheeks.  Until that very moment, I had never seen her cry all the time she was in hospice care.

This Christmas Season, it is a wonderful thing to give gifts to loved ones.  However, it is also a time to receive gifts, no matter what.  Whether it is a little clay object of some sort made by a child’s hands, an expensive gift, or even a joke you’ve heard a hundred times.  The material price of a gift, be it simple or elaborate, still comes from another person’s heart.  When you accept it, it symbolizes you accept them.  May you accept the gift of Jesus Christ this Christmas Season.  God has given you His greatest gift.  

Back from a near fatal anaphylactic attack

On January 6, 2017,  I experienced an almost fatal anaphylactic episode.  It was an uneventful day and nothing out of the ordinary.  I had celebrated my birthday the day before and looked forward to a great year.  Around 10:30, I began to itch around my lower back.  I didn't think much about it until I  began having a little trouble breathing.  Within minutes I began itching around my stomach area.  I went into the bathroom and took off my shirt.  I looked in the mirror and saw what appeared to be welts.  Several around my stomach about the size of a candy bar, reddish, swollen and slowly growing.  I turned around and the mirror revealed what was on my back.  Four or five more welts approaching the size of a dollar bill and spreading up my back.  The swollen, reddish welts on my thighs were even bigger than a dollar bill.  

I knew what was happening.  I was having an anaphylactic attack.  I had an episode several months earlier.  The first time I thought it was a spider bite causing the welts.  I took a picture of it.  I fought through the breathing difficulties by using the training I had learned in the military on how to breathe for chemical attacks.  A little painful but I made it.  The next morning I saw my primary care physician who took one look at the picture and said it was not a spider bite, but rather hives and I had an anaphylactic episode.  She had been taking care of me medically for a couple of years and knew that I tended not to take things very serious.  She tried to make it clear that these episodes can be dangerous and life threatening.  Also, that the next one will be more serious than this first one.  She wrote out a prescription for epi pens (Epinephrine Auto-Injectors 0.3 mg).  She told me how to use them.  I told her I had used them on myself in military training.  I knew she wasn't impressed and she warned me again that I could die.  I picked up the epi pens at the pharmacy.  There are three in the box.  Two are real and one is for practice.  I did a practice one and it all came back easily.  Nothing to it.  Pull the blue cap off, plunge it into your outer thigh for three seconds, and pull it out.  

I was aware that I was sweating and itching and having a little more trouble breathing.  This went on for awhile and I expected it to stop like the last time and go away.  This was a little bit more difficult, so I continued to get on my knees next to the side of the bed, like a child praying, and breathed slowly without increasing my heart beat, and no fear, so adrenaline was not entering my blood stream.  I was doing everything right.  I knew I could beat this.  It was now a little after 1:00, and I was having more difficulty breathing.  As I look back on this, I cannot to this day understand why I didn't just use the epi pen and drive to the hospital.  I can only rationalize this by believing that the lack of oxygen was affecting my reasoning ability.  (I hope that it was not because of an out of control bravado that believed I could conquer anything.)  

At about 1:45, I was having great difficulty breathing and I actually crawled to the bathroom where the epi pens were.  It seemed to take a lot of my strength to open the cabinet and take the box out.  I got to my knees, took an epi pen out, flipped up the blue safety release and jabbed it into the side of my leg.  Nothing happened.  I looked at it and it was the practice pen.  I actually laughed to myself.  I had to catch my breath and reach for another pen.  Jabbed that in my leg.  It went in well, but there was no effect.  I had waited too long to use it.  It was rendered useless.  It was now almost 2:00.  I thought about calling 911.  It had now been 3 hours.  The nearest phone was in the master bedroom about 25 feet from where I was on the bathroom floor.  I couldn't stand up, but I could crawl.  I crawled into the bedroom.  Now I was at the point I couldn't breathe.  I stood up.  I knew I was not going to make it.  At that moment, I knew I was going to die.  I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  Why didn't I call  911 before this?  Was this some kind of macho game?  Is this how I die?  I'm going to die for nothing?  I called out, "God save me!"  I then had a Grand Mal Seizure.  

When I came to I noticed that I was all wet.  Why am I so wet?  I then realized that I had lost control of my bladder and my organs were shutting down.  I was only less than 10 feet from the phone.  Incredibly, I was wondering if I should really call 911.  I made the decision I must and I must go now.  I crawled because it was impossible to stand up.  I could breathe again, but just barely.  I dialed 911.  The operator asked my situation.  I told her I could not breathe and needed to get to the hospital.  She asked my address.  I gave it to her.  She asked if I had pets.  I said no.  She asked if I could turn the outside light on the ambulance could find it easier.  I said I will try to do that.  She said if the front door was locked.  I said yes.  She asked me if I could unlock the front door.  I said I'll try.  

I then crawled as quickly as I could trying to control what little air I could inhale.  I reached up and turned the light on.  Rested for a few seconds and with literally the last of my strength, I turned the key to open the door.  The door opened, and I lay on the floor on my back.  I could't move.  I only had my bottom pajamas on.  I did not have a shirt on.  It was 2:30 in the morning.  A full moon out.  I looked up at the sky.  All was silent and calm.   It was very pretty.  But it was so cold.  All of a sudden a man showed up at the door.  He looked down on me and said he was my neighbor down the end of the road and he had heard the situation on his emergency phone.  He called the ambulance and gave them directions but it seemed like they were there quickly.  

The ambulance crew looked briefly at me and got me into the ambulance quickly.  They put a mask on my face.  I was driving in and out of consciousness.  I heard on guy say, "It's not working.  He's not breathing."  The hospital is only five miles from my home and we were there very fast.  I remember the ambulance driving into the building and nurses coming out.  I was then in what I thought was he ICU but I'm not sure.  I remember the nurses were roughing me up.  I wondered why they were treating me so mean.  They would put one mask over my face, and then suddenly rip it off and put another one on.  Whatever they were doing, it wasn't working.  They then began shooting me up with what I can only guess, because I didn't ask, was massive doses of epinephrine.  I could hear several doctors say, "Look how red he is.  Like a lobster."  I then remember being in a hospital chair with a mask on and I could see several nurses.  One in particular watched me constantly and she seemed to have a mean look on her face.  I looked up and saw a sign of some kind which had only one word on it, "BREATHE."  Then an ER doctor, who was very pleasant, came by my side and seemed to whisper, "We may not be able to help you."  (I didn't know what that meant at the time but I do now.)    

Obviously, the nurses weren't being mean to mean as they were doing their job and  I lived through this.  Three ER doctors were involved.  Unless they were just trying to scare me, they told me I was the worst case they ever treated where the patient lived.  One doctor told me that my oxygen level was below 70 when I got to the ER.  He didn't say how low and I didn't ask. 

I have almost made a full recovery.  I am no longer anemic, although still a little low and a little low in D3 and a few other things, but basically I'm back.  I only did one article in April of 2017, so this is really the first of many articles to come in the last two years.  I think it is also rather obvious that God, for the third time, has intervened again and saved my life.  For that I am eternally grateful. 

The First Prophecy of the Bible: Genesis 3:15

"And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel."   (New King James Version).

The context of this prophecy is the original sin and fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  

There are three parts to this great prophecy.  Part number one:

God is talking to Satan and God is telling him that from this point on there is going to be enmity, i.e., war.  From that time forth there will be two kingdoms:  the kingdom of God and the kingdom of the devil and they are still in conflict to this day.  All Christians are in the kingdom of heaven (Gospel of Mark uses kingdom of God, but it is the same thing).  The kingdom of the devil will be filled with his followers as seen in John 8:44 when Jesus tells the ungodly, "You are of your father the devil . . . "     

Part number two:  

The war will be between Satan's followers and "her Seed."  Who is "her" and who is the "Seed?"  The "her" is the virgin Mary.  Galatians 4:4 tells us, "But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman . . . "  Please notice the "Seed" is capitalized.  In the NKJV of the Bible, all deity is capitalized to present clarity and avoid confusion.  Also fascinating is that "seed" throughout the Bible is almost always referring to the man.  I believe that this is the only verse that refers the seed to that of a woman.  The "Seed" refers to the Messiah, Jesus Christ the Redeemer.  Jesus will be the "Second Adam" and correct the mistake that the first Adam made.  

Part number three:

"He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel."  Satan bruised the heel of Jesus on the cross.  However, when Jesus rose from the grave, He  bruised (crushed) Satan's head.  Satan was defeated at the cross and his doom is predicted explicitly in Revelation 20:10, "The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire . . . "

Due to Adam and Eve's fall from grace, their dominion of "every living thing that moves on the earth (Genesis 1:28) which God had given them authority over, was taken by Satan.  Paul refers to Satan as the "god of this world" many times, e.g., II Corinthians 2:4.  

To make this even more thorough, examine the "Temptations of Christ" found in Luke, especially Luke 4:5-6, "Then the devil, taking Him up on a high mountain, showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time.  And the devil said to Him, "All this authority I will give You, and their glory; for this has been delivered to me, and I give it to whomever I wish."  So, who delivered all this authority to Satan?  It sure was not God.  Satan took it from Adam and Eve at their fall from grace when original sin came into the world.  

Now, the coup de gras is delivered in Matthew 28:18, when Jesus, after resurrecting from the dead and immediately before ascending to heaven, says His last words on earth, which is called the Great Commission, " . . . All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth . . . "   That means the devil has none.  Jesus, as the second Adam, has taken back the authority that the first Adam had lost.  

And so, what we have here is the first prophecy in which God promises to us the eventual defeat of Satan which would come from Eve's descendents.  Our Redeemer lives.  We know how all of this ends.  And to Jesus goes all the power and glory, forever and ever.   

Getting Free

On July 4th, 1776, thirteen colonies proclaimed their independence from England.  That event eventually led to the formation of the United States of America.  Every year our nation celebrates this historic event on July 4th.

I have always looked at Luke 4:18, as the Biblical proclamation of freedom from oppression.  After Jesus had fulfilled His forty days in the wilderness overcoming the temptations of Satan, He began His earthly ministry.  The Bible tells us that Jesus went into the synagogue in Nazareth, where He had been brought up, and read these words from the book of Isaiah:

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind.
To set at liberty those who are oppressed."
                                           Luke 4:18  (NKJV)

After Jesus read these words He said, "Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

Many of us today are not really free.  We struggle with problems and various issues of stress almost daily, which can take away the joy that Jesus promised to His followers.  Jesus was aware that we can become prisoners of our own mind.  How do we break free?  How do we capture peace of mind?  How do we get free?  

Jesus says that whoever believes in Him and has a relationship with Him, that He will give them peace and set them free from the struggles and stress of life.  Developing that relationship with the Lord is the most important thing you can do in your life.  That requires talking to the Lord on a daily basis and growing in your personal walk with Him.  Make this Independence Day your independence from oppression of any kind.  Jesus knows now is the time to get free and He will help you every step of the way.

Happy 4th of July to you and your family.  May God's love be with you.  

How To Make God Happy

Can you remember the first time you fell in love?  Wasn’t it somewhat magical and perhaps breathtaking?  Didn’t you feel such incredible joy in your heart?  Didn’t you want to do whatever it took to make the object of your love feel happy?

I remember when Billy Graham was asked that question.  He said, “When I told my parents that I was in love they told me,  ‘that’s puppy love.’ I said, ‘Maybe so, but it sure feels real to the puppy.’”  

Jesus tells us in Luke 10:27:  “. . . You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. . .”

What would it take to love God like that?  How could we make God happy more than anything else?  The Bible tells us exactly how to do that. In the 15th chapter of Luke, Jesus tells three stories about how to make God happy.  The story of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost son.  In the story of the Prodigal Son who was lost, the father represents God who waits patiently for the lost son to return.  When God sees him, He runs to greet him and hugs him.  It is the only time in the Bible that reveals God ever running.  God is so happy he says, “ . . . this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.  And they began to be merry.”   In the story of the lost sheep and the lost coin, whey they are found, Jesus says, “ . . . there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents . . . “

We live in a lost and fallen world.  As Christians, the Lord has given us the Great Commission to, “make disciples of all the nations . . .”  We are instructed to reach out to the lost and invite them to church.  Church statistics point out that over 80% of people who come to church were invited by a friend.  Can you be a friend to the lost, and invite them to church?  If you want to make God happy, and make the angels rejoice, this is how to do it.

Time: The Final Element of Love

After 45 years of working with couples in marital therapy I have learned what makes an excellent relationship.  Without question, the ability and motivation to adore the object of your love is the most important.  I have always found that to be true and what separates a good relationship from a great relationship.  To adore the object of your love is the key to a great relationship.

I have also realized during this time that there is also one more element that separates the good relationship from the great relationship.  It is time.  We love what we give our most time to.  If we adore the object of our love and we truly love them, the most important thing we can give them is our time.  It is not material things, although they are nice.  It is not just being a good friend, although that is very important.  If we are truly "in love" with the object of our love - we give them our time.  If we don't, then we are not.  We can be a great friend but there is a huge difference between loving someone and being, "in love" with someone.  

We are now living in a time where social media plays a big part in our lives.  It is so simple to just send an email to someone on their birthday or for their latest accomplishment.  That extra touch; however, is when we take the time to send a card instead.  That extra time to do that sends a message to the recipient that you care about them.  It is personal and it really does let people know that you do care a little bit more about them then they thought.  Why?  Not because it cost more.  It's because you took some of your precious time and went to that extra trouble to let them know that you do really care.  

Time.  How do we use it?  Who do we give it to?  There are so many ways we share our time with.  If you are going to meet the President of the United States at 1:00, are you going to show up at 1:30?  Probably not.  Why?  Because you respect him or her and you show that you care by being on time.  

Our time is important.  How we use it determines who we are and who we respect and who we love.  God is very aware of the time we spend with Him.  What does time say about our relationship with the One who made us?  

May God's love be with you and may you be a blessing to those around you.  You have the time to make everyone feel a little bit special.  To let those around you know that you really do care.  

The Saturday People

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.  For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."                    

                                                                 Isaiah 43:1-3

There are 7,000 promises in the Bible.  I would like to address one of the most important in this article.  Easter has passed and life goes on for all of us.  For many there will be joy but there will be those who do not experience joy due to doubt.

To simplify things I would like to look at three important days:  

Good Friday - the day Christ was crucified.  Pain. 

Saturday - the day of confusion and doubt.

Easter Sunday - the day of joy.

Good Friday was the day of pain for Christ and all of His followers.  

The next day, Saturday, there was confusion and doubt among His followers.  How could this happen?  Was this not the Messiah?  Why didn't He save Himself?  What is going to happen to us now?  Was He really the One?  The Messiah?

Easter Sunday was the day of joy.  Jesus arose from the the dead and many people saw Him as He walked the earth and preached the Kingdom of God for 40 days before His ascension into heaven.

We have all felt pain in our lives.  We live in a fallen world and we will feel pain again in our lives.  We know it.  We don't like it, but we understand what pain feels like.  

We also know what Easter joy is like.  It feels wonderful and we have not doubt or confusion.  We are happy.  

But what about Saturday?  That is what I want to focus on in this article.  What about those who are caught between the pain of Friday and the joy of Sunday?  They are stuck in Saturday and cannot seem to move on to the joy of Sunday?  

I would like to call these people the, "Saturday," people.  They still live in doubt and confusion.  They ask questions like, "Why did God let my child die?  Why did God let my son-in-law die?  Why didn't God save my loved one I prayed so hard for to live?  Why didn't God intervene when I prayed so hard for Him to do so? 

Some Saturday people cannot bring themselves to ever forgive God and are clearly stuck in Saturday.  Others just are not sure about God and if God can really be trusted.  A lingering doubt hangs over their head like the Sword of Damocles.  The doubt can feel like one lover towards another lover:  "does she really love me?"  The joy of conviction is not there.  The lingering doubt hangs heavy and robs the lover of his or her joy that the object of one's love truly is "in love" with him or her.  

When it comes to God; however, the Bible tells us that there is no lingering doubt on God's side of this issue.  God is love and truly loves you and knows what you are going through.  Jesus tries to explain that He must die for the sins of humanity and He must go away, but that He will return again.   Jesus tells us this in John 16:20-22:  "Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy.  A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.  Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you."  

If you are a Saturday person, it is time to come home.  God is waiting for you, to hold you, and to love you and to bring comfort to your emotional wounds.  God made you and God can heal you.  God will give you the strength to overcome your pain and sorrows.  

It's time for you to come home.  God is waiting for you with opening hands.  Like the father in the Prodigal Son story.  The father represents our heavenly Father in that story.  When He saw His son coming home He ran to meet him and kissed him and gave him a great party and gave him great joy.  

It's time to come home.  Your heavenly Father is waiting for you.  

Battle Tested

When I was a young teenager, one of the greatest poems I ever heard stuck with me my entire life and still resonates with me to this day.  It was entitled, The Charge of the Light Brigade, by Alfred, Lord Tennyson and it was written in 1854.  The poem was written for people of all ages to remember the suicidal charge by a light calvary, consisting of 637 soldiers on horseback with sabers and swords, charging into a valley facing 20 battalions of Russian infantry with over 50 cannons pointed at them from all directions.  The charge into the valley of death came from the 23'rd psalm.  It happened during the Battle of Balaclava (Ukraine) during the Crimean War 1854-1856.  Florence Nightingale trained and led nurses to help the wounded during that war.  It was also the beginning of what is now referred to as "war correspondents."

I'll briefly paraphrase this great poem:

"Half a league half a league, half a league onward, into the valley of death rode the six hundred.  Canon to the right of them, canon to the left of them, canon in front of them, volley and thundered.  Into the jaws of death, into the mouth of hell rode the six hundred.  Theirs was not to reason why.  Theirs was but to do and die."  

What was going through the minds of these soldiers as they were facing impossible odds?  Facing 20 battalions of the enemy and they were equipped only with sabers and swords.  I believe they were thinking to themselves, "Mine is not to reason why.  Mine is but to do and die."

In my life, as a young man and minister, I used to question how God could possibly let tragic things happen.  Like anyone, I experienced doubt and sometimes anger.  Where was God?  Why was this happening?  There were times when I felt that God would surely intervene in a particular situation, and He didn't.  Why not?  I didn't understand.  Perhaps I was not that important.  I didn't really know.  

As I have matured in age and emotions, I feel that I understand these things much better.  I only need to think back to His Son, Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, when He pleaded with God, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me."  Jesus knew what was going to happen to Him but He knew what He had to do.  His was not to reason why.  His was but to do and die.  Jesus then said, "Nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."  He then went to the Cross.

We may never know during our life time why certain things happen to our friends and even to our self.  The Bible tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9 these words:  "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.  "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."


Unfortunately, I have seen and listened to good people who feel that God abandoned them and will not forgive God.  Their hearts have hardened toward God and they just cannot get over it.  They just cannot let go of the anger and disappointment and even feel that God has betrayed them.  

In the sixth chapter of John, Jesus talked about Himself as the bread of life and that, "I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you."  When many of His disciples heard this they walked away from Jesus.  Jesus said in John 6:64:  "But there are some of you who do not believe.  For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who would betray Him."  Jesus then asked the twelve apostles, "Do you also want to go away?"  "But Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

Are we sometimes like those disciples who walked away when they did not understand Jesus?  Do we behave like we were the ones Jesus was talking about when He said He knew from the beginning those who would not believe and would betray Him?  

We do not know the mind of God.  But one day we will if we do not lose our faith and we remain obedient no matter what the circumstances may be.  

We will go through many battles in our life.  We will win some and we will also lose some.  Through it all - we will be "Battle Tested."  
We may never know why some things happen but if we keep the faith - no matter what - one day we will and we will understand.  Until then, keep Jesus in mind.  Not my will but Your will be done and He died for us so we would have eternal life with Him.

I have learned in my life that God only wants what is good and right for us.  God loves us and when things happen that we don't understand we have to rely on our faith.  Let us not betray Him because we don't understand.  Let us remember the words of Job who despite not understanding at all what was happening to him said, "I know that my Redeemer lives . . . Yea though He slay me, I will not betray Him." 

That is being, "Battle Tested."  Job was rewarded for his faith many times over.  We will all be, "Battle Tested."  Let us keep the faith no matter what happens.  We know that our Redeemer lives.  

Love

Have you ever loved anyone with all your heart?  Your world revolved around the object of your love.  You would do anything for them and you believed this was the "one" you would spend the rest of your life with?  

To only find out that they couldn't, or wouldn't love you back?  What was that like for you?  It hurt didn't it?  It hurt very much.  That is how God feels about you.  

The most important thing you can do in the world is to love God.  The One who made you.  The One you hope to spend all of eternity with.  

If you are married or in a serious relationship right now, I would like to ask you this question and see if you can give an honest answer.  It will either be a yes or a no.

Will you do anything for the object of your love?  There should be little hesitation in this question.  Of course, it is contingent on how deeply in love with this person you are, so the question is directed at serious lovers.  Do you have an answer yet?  

If you answered, "I'm not sure, it depends on the situation," you have given the wrong answer.  For you, it may be a matter of convenience, or it may be something like, "If it is within the law."

Again, all of these answers are absolutely wrong and I believe you need to take a serious look at your relationship and see what you can do to improve it.  

There is only one correct answer.  The answer is, "Yes."  You may want to know the logic behind this answer.  Again, to even ask this question, you are going to need to look at your relationship again.

Here is the logic behind the only answer to this question.  The answer is, "Yes," and here is why:

Number 1:  Do you love the object of your love?  

Answer:  Obviously yes if this is a serious relationship.

Number 2:  Do you trust the object of your love?

Answer:  Obviously yes if this is a serious relationship.  (If you don't trust the object of your love - it's the end of the question and for you the answer to the original question is, "No."

Number 3:  Would the object of your love ever intentionally hurt you? 

Answer:  Obviously no if this is a serious relationship.  (If you don't know if the object of your relationship would hurt you or not - it's the end of the question and for you the answer to the original question is, "No."

Number 4:  If you trust the object of your love and believe this person would never do anything to put you in harms way; for example, the object of your love is not going to ask you to murder someone, or to rob a bank, or to kill yourself, or bankrupt you - then you have your answer.  You would feel free to do anything for the object of your love because this person in turn loves you and would never be demanding nor ask you to do anything wrong.  

How about the One that made you, and like a great Father who loves his or her child and wants only the very best for you.  Will you do anything for God?  

There is a poker game called Texas hold'em, no limit.  When you have so much faith in your poker hand that you put all of your chips in the middle of the table and say, "I'm all in," you are saying that you are going all the way.  Everything you have is riding on this hand.  That is what God wants from you.  He's waiting for you to say, "I'm all in Lord."  I love you and I am now at the point that I can say, "I'm all in."  

When you get to this point in your life when you can love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength - you are now able to put the Great Commandment into action.  Your life will change forever.  You're all in.

We are approaching Valentine's Day.  People all over America will be talking about love.  May you find the love you are looking for and may God's love be with you.  

    

Love Letters To The Lord

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?"  Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment . . . "

                                                        Matthew 22:36-38

The question is this:  "How do we do that?"  How do we go about making the Lord our God the object of our love, and more important than any family member?

2016 is going to be a great year.  Here is a recommendation to make it your best year ever.

I want to challenge you to do this for one year, beginning this Friday the 1st, 2016.

I would like for you to purchase a journal, or any type of small book you can write your thoughts in.  I would like for you to call it, "Love Letters to the Lord," or any similar name you would feel comfortable calling it.

Each page of the journal would constitute one day.  That means you may only need to write one paragraph on the front of the page or you could write and fill up the front and the back but no more.  Contain it to one page.  365 pages would make up your one year assignment.

Begin by saying, "Dear Lord," or whatever makes you feel comfortable.  Begin to develop a personal relationship with the Lord.  Just write whatever comes into your heart.  It doesn't have to be perfect, just honest.  I would recommend that no one else would ever read this journal - just you and the Lord only.  

Jesus says that if you develop a close relationship with Him that He will answer your prayers:

"And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask anything in My name, I will do it."

                                                        John 14:13-14

The Bible tells us that the most important thing you can do in your life is to develop a personal relationship with the Lord.  God loves you and wants to bless you and wants to see you happy and enjoying your life.  I believe this challenge will enable you to do just that - to develop a personal relationship with Him.  

I believe if you are willing to do this, that your life will change, as the Lord will be with you.  When you love the Lord, you will receive blessings you never imagined.  God loves you and is waiting to hear from you.    

Hope For the Holidays

Dr. James Dobson relates the story of an elderly woman named Stella Thornhope who was struggling with her first Christmas alone.  Her husband had died just a few months prior through a slow developing cancer.  Late that afternoon the doorbell rang, and there was a delivery boy with a box.  She said, "What's in the box?"  The young man opened up the flap, and inside was a little puppy, a golden Labrador Retriever.  "This is for you, Ma'am.  He's six weeks old, completely housebroken."  "Who sent this?" Mrs. Thornhope asked.  

The young man handed her an envelope and said, "It's all explained here in this envelope, Ma'am."  In desperation she again asked, "Who sent me this puppy?"  As the young man turned to leave, he said, "Your husband, Ma'am.  Merry Christmas."  She opened up the letter from her husband.  He had written it three weeks before he died and left it with the kennel owners to be delivered with the puppy as his last Christmas gift to her.  The letter was full of love and encouragement and admonishments to be strong.  He vowed that he was waiting for the day when she would join him.  He had sent her this young animal to keep her company until then.  

She wiped away her tears and picked up the golden furry ball and held it to her neck.  Suddenly, Stella felt the most amazing sensation of peace washing over her.  Her heart felt a joy and a wonder greater than the grief and loneliness.  "Little fella,"  she said to the dog, "It's just you and me, but we are going to be okay."

This Christmas time will be a time of happiness for so many people around the world.  However, it will also be a time of sadness for many people who have lost loved ones and who will feel the loneliness that is so hard to deal with.  Our Lord knows the loneliness that you may feel and He comes to us in many different ways.  I believe that God sends angels in many forms to comfort us when we are feeling heartbroken.  In Luke 4:18, Jesus says these words to us, " . . . He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted . . . "  I believe these words to be true and may God bless you and your family this Christmas season.